🦋 An Unstored Memory 🦋

Her dress danced beneath her waist as her smile widened underneath the sun rays. Dust and dirt spread around everywhere with every step she took. It was her favourite peachy dress that she wore everyday in summer. Zehra hanim always yelled at her to wash it. 'One day, I'm going to rip this dress into shreds so you can wear the 20 unworn dresses you have piled up in your closet!', Zehra always threatened Reyyan with this quote, but never dared to as she knew how much her daughter loved it.

8 year old Reyyan loved summer. Despite her love for learning at school, she loved the freedom of playing all day long. At home, on the rooftop, in the fields between the dried spikey grass.. she always played with so much happiness that whoever saw her would think that she's the happiest child on this planet. They wouldn't imagine she had a grandfather who'd growl everytime he saw her Raven, curly locks bounce around the courtyard. They wouldn't believe she had a cousin who'd use her evil eyes in envy to destroy everything good Reyyan had in her life. They wouldn't guess her biological father abandoned her..left her inside her mother's womb on the streets, wishing they'd both be fed to the hungry, stray dogs. They wouldn't believe..
.... She wouldn't either.

Today, she decided to walk outside around the Şadoğlu mansion in hopes of playing with any child she spots on the street. 'Hopscotch! Please let it be hopscotch today.' She prayed she could find someone playing this game. Most of the time, children ran away from her..teased her..poked their tongues out and wiggled their bottoms before they found another spot to play. She never understood why they did that. The children never understood too. They just kept hearing stories about her from their parents and turned their teases into a regular habit. The parents mistreated her because their respect for Nasuh bey, her grandfather, was always superior. They knew he hated her.. So they hated her too.

But Reyyan never gave up trying. She always believed there is someone out there worth playing with. Someone will eventually accept her and invite her to play. There has to be someone who'll like her rabbit teeth, her fizzy hair, her wild spirit...just like her loving stepfather did... just like Hazar Şadoğlu. He always reminded her how her imperfection was always perfect in his eyes. He loved her so much.. and she knew it just by looking at his smile.. and his twinkling eyes which were always filled with tears... tears that never rolled down his cheeks.. at least...not in front of her.

Reyyan didn't realise how much she had walked. But the streets were empty.. completely empty. Nothing could be seen except the tall limestone walls of Midyat and a few deserted cars. Nothing could be heard nor felt except the hot breeze that twirled the street dust around and made tiny particles enter her eyes. 'Oooof yaaa! What am I going to do now?', Reyyan murmured as she closed her eyes shut and rubbed them hard with her tiny hands. It was a bad idea to rub them.. now her vision was blurred and her eyes were irritated. Cussing with what words she learnt from street kids, Reyyan heard a giggle. 'Oops! Was I too loud?', she thought to herself. Struggling to open her eyes, Reyyan squinted with every strength until she managed to open them a little to see the source of that giggle.

There was a large wooden door and a head poking out of it. It was the head of a little girl with black raven hair. With the minimal vision Reyyan had, she noticed that the girl looked younger and was scared to go out, leaving her floaty head outside and the rest of her body behind the door.
'Merhaba', Reyyan said with her usual smile and a small wave towards the girl.

'Merhaba, why are your eyes so red? Do you have the flu?', the little girl said as her voice sounded like she was really concerned.
'Hiyer, just the sand dust irritating my eyes', beamed Reyyan as she slowly started to regain her full vision.
'I'm looking for someone to play with. You're the first person I stumble upon. So.... would you like to play? Say... hopscotch?'. Reyyan's voice sounded hopeful as she finally met someone who smiled at her with zero mockery. She looked much younger than Reyyan but at least she found someone who could be willing to play with her.

However, the girl looked hesitantly behind her, inside the mansion, then back at Reyyan and whispered loud enough for only Reyyan to hear. 'Ummmm.. I wish I could but I'm not allowed'.

Reyyan thought she found her match and couldn't contain her excitement. 'Merak etme! I'm not allowed to play outside too. But I ran away from home... well... not really ran away.. but more like walked away for a few minutes. I promised myself I'll be back at home before my grandpa notices my disappearance.'
The little girl's eyes widened in amazement. She couldn't believe anyone would be capable of leaving the house without getting in trouble. 'Have you ever been caught before?', whispered the little girl. She wanted to know more about this wild looking girl who looked so proud to be running away from her grandpa.
'Oh, I've lost count', said Reyyan with pride, 'but it's totally worth it. Trust me'.

The girl slowly brought a curious smile to her face, as if she was imagining herself in Reyyan's shoes. Her eyes were fixed on the ground and her smile kept widening little by little....
Until.........

'ELIF! WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT THE DOOR?!', the husky voice of a young male roared from behind Elif. Suddenly, all smiles disappeared, replaced by sweat and heart throbbing fear.

'Who... is... th..that?!', Reyyan's voice trembled as she took a few, spontaneous steps back.
'Run! Just go quickly before he sees you!', Elif said as she signalled a shoo with her hand before slamming the large door shut.

'DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO MOVE AWAY FROM THE DOOR WHILE THE GUARDS ARE NOT HERE?'. Yaaaa! The voice still roared despite the closed door and isolating thick walls. Reyyan could only imagine that Elif had an older, annoying cousin.. who didn't let her play outside like normal kids do.. just like her annoying cousin Azat.
Reyyan woke up from her daydream. 'Do I hear footsteps?', she thought quietly to herself. Looking right and left, she made quick calculations and realised that she will be spotted no matter which way she ran. So, she chose to hide behind the closest car she could spot and bent down, curling her body like a tiny, shivery ball.
With her eyes completely shut and her sweaty hands leaving a steamy mark on the heated car, Reyyan heard the door open with force as the sound of the metal handle slammed back and forth. She had never felt this fear before, at least not with anybody accept her grandfather Nasuh.

'SHOW YOURSELF!' Reyyan's eyes suddenly opened widely with the affect of his echoing voice. Despite her beating heart that was about to rip her chest open and escape, she fought the urge to look up from behind the car windows and glance at the young man who didn't sound older than a late teenager who's just hit puberty. His voice reminded her of her cousin Azat's as she was aware of the sudden change it went through which made her giggle every time she heard it. 'Puberty'... she'd heard her uncle say the word with pride when she was once eavesdropping, as Cihan gave his son a slap on the shoulder indicating that he's become a man. But... this voice... it was different... it sounded better... more manly..
....more demanding.

Ever so slowly, Reyyan looked up with only her curls and curious eyes showing from behind the dusty car windows. The young man was looking in the opposite direction from where she was. So she squinted her eyes a little more to get a better look at him.

A dark frown was drawn on his forehead, making his eye look sharp and piercing. She couldn't tell if they were green or blue, but the left eye she could see definitely was glistening under the sunlight, like a reflecting mirror. His nose looked long, sharp and well-designed like a carpenter's masterpiece constructed specifically for him. This made Reyyan's mouth open slowly without even realising. She'd never seen such a perfect nose before. His thin upper lip and full lower lip curved downwards while gazing down the street before yelling 'Chicken!'.

'Did he just call me a chicken?', Reyyan felt slightly offened as anger slowly replaced her fear. She'd been called many names before but never a 'chicken'. She wondered why she felt offended but couldn't find a reason. Could it be because he was a boy? An angry, abnoxious looking boy? A very handsome, angry, obnoxious looking boy?

He glanced one more time in the other direction, closer to where Reyyan was. However, she did not move, could not bend down, chose not to hide like she was supposed to. She could now clearly see both eyes. They were hazel... like pure, clear honey. A few facial hair stuck out of his jaw and chin while his premature moustache looked visibly dark. His thick, wavy hair slightly stuck out in different directions, covering part of his forehead. 'You, mister grumpy, need a hair cut', whispered Reyyan to herself, without realising that her index and middle fingers turned into a pair of scissors, moving them in a cutting motion. She thought that cutting his thick, dark hair would be the best payback for calling her a chicken.

Suddenly..

'Miran!', called out the voice of a lady who sounded as angry as he was. 'Come inside and get ready to go. I've got a few things to remind you of before we leave again. You know how much I hate staying in this konak. It brings back memories I like to forget.'

The voice woke Reyyan up and brought her back to her senses. It suddenly distracted her from looking at the rest of his slim physique. Why did her voice scare her?

Reyyan slowly went back into hiding mode before she heard him reply with 'Tamam babaanne'. She heard him grunt before slamming the door shut.

Reyyan removed her hands off the car which have turned into sizzling kebab and bolted out of her hiding spot, running as fast as her feet could move. Halfway back home, she started to feel safe as she made sure no one was following her. Her run slowly turned into a skip, her fear turned into happiness and her lips twitched sideways as she hummed cheerfully his name subconsciously, making childish songs out of it..

🎵
'Miran... Miran... oh Miran! What lovely nose you have..
Miran.. Miran... oh Miran! What annoying hair you have...'
🎶

The next day, Reyyan went back to her position behind the car... and the next day... and the next day......
....but....
No sign of Elif....
No sign of Miran...
No sign of life behind the limestone walls.