Never Alone (Jotakak)

Three A.M. Caffeine-Fueled Essays

*AU where Kak is still alive... They're established relationship and rooming together in college*

Blood poured through my fingers, tears stinging my eyes as I sobbed openly. Soft teal eyes stared listlessly into the sky, face so much beyond his normal emotionless. It was empty. Devoid of the warmth I'd come to rely on. Devoid of any love or tenderness.

That soft curl of his hair plastered to his forehead, slick with crimson blood.

So much blood. Pooling around us, in my lap. I sobbed, cradling him closer.

Quiet laughter echoed around us, building into a crescendo.

Pain shot through my stomach, reaching down into my thighs and up my spine.

I startled awake, bedsheets sweaty and tangled around me.

Moonlight fingered the quiet room, a soft silence replacing the eerie laughter.

I screwed my eyes shut against the pain in my stomach, wishing it would go away. When it didn't, I stumbled to my feet, wincing as it worsened.

Soft tendrils slid over my legs, strengthening and supporting them as I leaned against the wall for support.

I paused at the end of the hallway, leaning against the door for support.

The quiet sound of his computer keyboard filled the room, pausing every few moments as he rummaged through the papers next to him. The horror from my dreams faded, leaving a soft sense of affection as I watched him. The screen turned his strong frame into a silhouette, his black hair reflecting the blue light. A single light was on in the kitchen, enough for me to make my way over to him.

"Mmm. What are you doing still awake? I thought you were supposed to be in bed two hours ago," I mumbled, lips pressing into the side of his neck in a sloppy, sleepy kiss as I let my arms fall over his shoulders.

He paused, turning his head to see me. The edge of his glasses brushed against the side of my face, the cool metal kissing my flushed skin.

"The essay won't write itself," he murmured, pausing to look me over. "What are you doing up?"

I hummed lightly, wincing as my stomach let out another loud protest at being denied for so long.

"I had a nightmare. And they'd never be complete without cramps."

His expression melted into worry, though I placated him with a quick kiss on the forehead.

"I'll just take something and go back to bed."

I made to pull away, but his voice stopped me.

"They give you headaches."

I paused. How did he know I needed the strong ones?

I frowned in his direction. He turned his head to meet my gaze. Then he pushed from the desk, patting his thigh.

"Come here."

I rose both brows.

"I'll give you a massage and then you can go back to bed."

I approached him, breath hitching as I came close enough to properly see him.

And, it wasn't as if I didn't see him every day, but with the light glancing off of him just  so, and the soft, sleepy expression on his face-