Improving Your Life: A Nice SQUIP AU

Chapter 1: The Fork in the Road

This was it.

Jeremy stared at the blue-ish grey pill in his hand, and then glanced at the bottle of Mt. Dew in his other hand. Diet.

He figured it didn't matter that much.

"You okay?"

Micheal sat across from him, clearly tense with anticipation. Jeremy nodded.

"Yeah, it's just really surreal. We should split it. You helped me get it, we should both benefit, right?"

Micheal shrugged.

"I don't think it works like that. Besides, I like thinking that when you're cool, you'll owe me!"

Jeremy chuckled, then took a deep breath, swallowing the pill with a single gulp of Mt. Dew.

"How does it taste?"

Jeremy let the taste settle on his tongue.

"Uh... spearmint?"

Micheal tilted his head.

"Huh. How do you feel?"

"Fuck, um, a little dizzy? God, I hope that wasn't just a fancy cough drop or some shit."

"I almost hope that's all it was."

"Ugh."

"Five minutes."

"Huh?"

Micheal stood up suddenly.

"Check it out, this guy in Spencer's is hooking me up with some Crystal Pepsi. It's like regular Pepsi, but clear!"

"Wasn't that discontinued in the 90s?"

"That's what makes it so cool!"

As Micheal hurried off, Jeremy noticed Jake, Christine and a few other figures in the corner of the food court. He made a move to get up and go over to them, but a new wave of dizziness crashed in and he fell back down.

Slowly raising his head, he joined Micheal in hoping that that was just a cough drop and not a super powerful sedative or something.

Suddenly, the corners of his eyesight blurred and a dull pain throbbed in his brain, slowly getting larger and sharper. Shakily, he stood up and rushed to the bathroom, locking himself in an empty stall.

Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort.

'Mild? How on earth- argh!'

He hoped all the stalls were empty, because he might start screaming.

Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated.

'Access procedure? What is this-'

Discomfort level may increase.

'Oh, fu-'

A blaze of pain rushed throughout Jeremy's body, seemingly aggravating every nerve in his body with a sharp sting.

Accessing neural memory.

The pain in Jeremy's head reached a peak, then fizzled out like salt in water.

Accessing muscle memory.

A shiver ran through his body, from his head to his feet, clearing it of the spastic twitches of pain that had danced across it moments before.

Access procedure complete.

Well, that was a weird phrase to be absolutely elated about.

Jeremy Heere, welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor. Your SQUIP.