My Own Path

1- Light as a feather

PRESENT

This is it. I stand frozen in place. My eyes are closed and I focus on the static hum of the energy running through my limbs. Slowly I allow my awareness to reach out and pull in my surroundings. A soft breezes caresses my skin as I listen to the baying call of the Chickadee. Inhaling the heavy morning mist, I relinquish the black and embrace the scenery that encompasses me.

I'm standing on the beach of Cedar Bay Lake about 200 km from well, anything. Beside me is my kayak laden with all the nessary gear for my adventure. A large cliff looms over the East side of the lake blanketing the water in shadow. The remaining of the shoreline has tall Cedars and Birch trees as far as I can see.

It is time. I'm dumping all the conscious crap and garbage I've accumulated over the years here on the beach. With every breath I become lighter. I will not carry lifes burdens with me as I venture forward. It means nothing here. No outside communication with the rest of the world and there's nothing I can do about any of it anyway. So why bring it.

I am Marie. I'm 40 years old and have no great tragedy or heartbreak to tell, nor am I rich or famous. I am alive but have not lived. My life has been one monotone decision after another. Today I'm taking my first step/paddle into my unknown. Now I'm not going into this blind. I have kayaked on several occasions and enjoy camping. This will be my first kayaking camping adventure in a remote area and I'm on my own.

I push off and settle into a slow paddling rhythm. The water is like glass reflecting the sky, giving the sensation of floating above the clouds. The farther away from the beach I get, the more excited I become. Exhilaration and apprehension fill my soul causeing me to feel giddy. I chuckle to myself thinking that I have lost my mind in the pursuit of finding myself.

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