Fortitude

18-Friday family

Taratibu ndio mwendo.
(Go carefully, go surely)

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Raziya

I was done with my errands by 4 pm so I decided to go home first and freshen up. I was getting better. Five days don't retrieve you from a four year deep well but with someone like Lily poking at you from all angles, you have no choice but to climb out of it. Taji had been trying to talk to me though I had a feeling Lily had told him everything and he was just pulling out all the pity cards.

A bible study was definitely a way to get my mind off everything. I hadn't actually sought God for answers or anything like that. I only read the scripture mum suggested. It cooled me down at the time but the more I thought about it, the worse I felt.

After you have suffered for a little while.
This little while feels like an eternity.

Lily had offered to give me a ride to Taji's but I declined. I needed to go home and breathe first then do my routine overthink-all-the-way-ride in public transport. I wore an oversized baby pink hoodie dress and vans and left.

》《

My footsteps seemed louder than usual as I walked down the hallway to Taji's. People are barely ever at home on Friday nights but I was expecting to at least hear some noise from his apartment. I don't know why something kept telling me that it was a gathering of about ten or so people. Lily was always the charming one and I thought she'd convince the whole office to show up. The thought made me cringe at first. I had never been a fan of big crowds and I was most certainly in no mood to make any more friends. But considering I went out for lunch with a client, that ship had already sailed.

I knocked on the door and a few seconds later, a flour dusted Taji in a beanie opened it. "Someone's early, eager to see me?" He began as he spread out his arms. I wasn't planning on adding flour as an accessory so I just shook my head and walked past him saying, "Don't you ever just say hello like a normal person?"

"Who ever said that I'm normal?" He continued, dropping his arms swiftly, clearly getting the point. I took off my shoes and walked into the living room. There was no one there.

"Where's everyone?"

"Everyone will be here at seven."

I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check the time.

6:35. Perfect.
I just had to be my ever so punctual self.

"Uhm... do you want some juice?"he asked a bit too nervously.

"Sure," I replied taking a sit on the edge of the sofa, not really comfortable with making myself too comfortable. He placed the glass of mango juice on his coffee table with a smile and went back to the kitchen following a beep from his oven. I followed him with my eyes as I watched him put on mittens then pull out a small round cake from the oven.

"You bake?" I asked, my voice coming out a bit chocked.

Rubbing the back of his neck after taking off the mittens, "Yeah."

What's with all the nerves though?

"Don't make that face," he went on furrowing his eyebrows at me playfully as he scoured the counter for a knife.

"What face?"

"The you're a man who cooks face."

"It's, fascinating, but completely normal. No one really judges anyone these days,"