Maybe I do love you

For the record, angels and demons were the same once

I fell for it. I fell for it for 10 damn months. The most basic lie in the history of mankind, and I fell face first into it. 

I looked at her, lips that used to be so sweet, telling me that we were over, and she already got someone else. Emily Deril. My first girlfriend. And now my ex-boyfriends new girlfriend. Why was this surprising in 2020?

"C'mon guys, leave her alone." A girls voice cut through all the screaming in my head, pulling me away from all the secrets I swore I'd never tell. But now, the more recent ones made sense now. Specially the ones from last night.

I turned to the voice, and lo and behold, it was Angelica Lockhart. The only person that genuinely cared for me, unlike our deadbeat foster parents. She's like a reverse wolf in sheep's clothing. She's as harmless as a herd of sheep, but she has a tough exterior. But right now, she was torn between me and Emily, her older sister or her best friend.

Emily... beautiful white and soft skin. Eyes that were amber. Light brown hair that had streaks of bright and radiant red. It hurt that she was doing this, after 10 months... she's like a freaking rabbit. She's not mean, but she's too nice. She's nice to everyone, and she's constantly trying to get stronger, but she feels so much guilt if she so much as talks back. 

Then I turned back to him. 

Dark hair. Clear brown skin. Beautiful hazel eyes with green flecks. Strong and lean. But his attitude was different. He was different, not the same shy and sweet boy I remember meeting for the first time. They were both different from each other but even though it was pissing me off, I couldn't ignore the fact that they looked great together. Like, fuck man. She's the definition of innocent baby, and he's fucking hot. There's no way to describe him but that he's a polynesian dream. And them together is great actually, they look fantastic together—-

Fuck me, did I just compliment them? 

Am I even mad at them? Then I looked at their hands, and the words kinda... slipped from my mouth. 

"So you find a new prettier girl and suddenly your her boy Elijah?" I couldn't take my eyes off of their interlaced fingers, holding each other's hand. Were they really doing this? Did they even know what today was?

He didn't seem to hear me, or he was just ignoring me, and instead turned his head to Emily. Without cutting eye contact with me, she gently grabbed his face and kissed him. Long and slow, the same way she used to kiss me. Her eye contact is her way of staying strong, but to me it was her asking me to grab her by the head and slam it into my knee. Hard.

But I still lov— loved her. I don't love her anymore. 

Emily looked like the one who was hurt, which was probably because I showed a hint of feeling hurt. Immediately I was mad at myself for thinking something mean about her, but what she's doing is so damn painful. Shouldn't I feel more in tune with my anger than this? 

"Enjoy being together. I hope you guys are happier than when either of you were with me." I knew I was hurting her now, her face might not show it, but her hands did. They were clenched, and shaking. What I didn't expect was that Elijah was getting mad too. 

"What the hell Rox?" He whispered harshly. "She didn't do anything to you." I could see he genuinely believed that, but I could see what he was really mad about. "And I don't play." 

I rolled my eyes despite my mind screaming at me not to, because I know it'll only irritate him further. He heard my accusation under my congratulations.

"Are you, of all people, seriously calling me a player when you've been playing Emily? Telling her all the things you told me, promising what you promised me?" His voice was getting softer as he realized what he said. In all 14 years of life, of all the shit I've dealt with... that probably took the cake.

"I wasn't the one who left. You were."

I don't know what his problem was. What the hell did I do to them that I'm feeling like this? Elijah couldn't look me in the eyes after I said that. All I could hear was my blood rushing. 

"I know." 

There's that voice, sweet and soft, I could tell he was mad, but I was too. He's dating my girlfriend, he knows I wasn't trying to hurt him, either of them. But if this is what I get, then fuck them. Angel started reaching for me, but I didn't want her or anyone to touch me. I was so angry, I didn't even know who I was mad at. 

"Rox?" I didn't need them. 

"Roxanne?" I didn't need anyone.

I couldn't stand to stay here looking like the bad guy, so I lazily saluted them and pushed past the small crowd that had formed around us. I heard Angel scolding them, but also congratulating them, and apologizing. Geez, pick one dude. After walking for a good, what, 10 minutes maybe I heard Angel trying to catch up to me. Turns out I walk pretty fast when I'm pissed, anyone else or is that just me?

"U-Um, Rox?" She was out of breath, trying to regain some of the air lost attempting to walk and talk with me.

"Leave it. It's out of my hands." I glanced at her worried face. "If they want to date each other what's to stop me from that? Their big kids, and I'm not their mom." I ended that rather harshly, and regardless of how mad I was, or who I was mad at, or who I wanted to plow into my knee *cough* or the wall *cough* I turned to Angel and hugged her. 

As I thought, she was crying. Poor Angel thought it was her fault for them dating, which it might as well have been since they never would have known each other if we didn't eat lunch together last night. Yep, I got dumped after one night with Elijah. Haha, fucking funny. If you can't tell, that's sarcasm.

Angel didn't mean for it to happen, and I was well aware of that, but I couldn't hide that it hurt nor could I tell her I was okay when she knew what both Elijah and Emily meant to me. How much I love... loved them.

"Hey, isn't that Jax?" Angel looked up from crying in my arms to look up in the direction I nodded too. Jax was sitting down by our front doors, looking pissed. I subconsciously knew why he was here, but I couldn't tell Angel. 

"J-Jax is h-here?" She looked for a couple seconds until she realized where Jax was. "I-I'll go say h-hi then... are y-you gonna be okay b-by yourself for now?"

I smiled. I could never stay mad when it came to Angel, my precious little sister, I nodded and opened my arms so she could run into Jax's arms. Jax is our older brother, her and I were the only blood siblings though, but we never left each other's side. The foster system was so used to seeing us they just made us a package deal. All four of us or none of us.

I walked up to the apartment door and looked at Jax while Angel was busy talking about her day before the big announcement. He had a red line running up the left side of his neck, and he smelled like Heineken, and on top of that Jules wasn't with him. I sighed inwardly. I punched in the code to open the gate and braced for what came next.

Hopefully they didn't finish the first case.