Against the Waves (THE PRESTIGE 1)

08

"Why are you mad?" He asked as if he was convinced that I am mad.

I lifted my head only to see him intently watching me. He looks pained and confused.

"Tell me what did I do wrong so I can fix it." patuloy na nangingibabaw ang panunuyo sa boses nito.

Palihim kong nayukom ang mga kamao ko. Why does he sounds like this? I felt like I am willing to let down my walls again if he keep acting this way!

"I'm all ears."

Lumayo akong muli kay River at pumunta sa kabilang side ng lamesa. Lapit pa nang lapit alam ng may girlfriend! Paano kung naikwento pala ako ni River sa kaniya na ako iyong kababata niyang may gusto sa lalaki, tapos makikita kaming magkalapit, ano ang iisipin nun? Ang pinakaayaw ko pa man din ay ako pa ang maging dahilan kung bakit magseselos ang isang babae.

"Layuan mo na nga ako." Dirediretso kong sabi.

"Please, let me know what makes you mad. I don't want us to act this way." Hirap na hirap nitong sabi.

Handa na akong bulyawan siya nang magring ang phone niya sa kaniyang bulsa.

"Ayaw kong galit ka sa akin."

"Eh ano bang dahilan para magalit ako sa'yo?"

He pursed his lips. He looks so down. "I don't know...that is why I want you to tell me what is it so I can do better next time."

"E wala na ngang problema diba? Bakit ba ang kulit mo? Hindi pa pwedeng maarte lang ako kaya ayaw kitang kausap?"

His jaw clenched. "Then what's with this? Are you on your period?"

Bahagya akong makonsensiya dahil sa sobrang baba ng boses nito. Halatang naguguluhan sa inaakto ko. Kung tutuusin, pwede ko namang diretsahang sabihin sa kaniya kung ano ang kinaiinit ng ulo ko kaysa pagbuntungan siya ng inis ko.

"Wala! Kalimutan mo na nga! Badtrip lang ako!"

He lick his lower lip and nodded as if he finally get a hint why am I acting this way.

"Okay, you're probably mad because you woke up on the wrong side of your bed. Or maybe, you oversleep, or I don't know...maybe I'm the first thing you saw in the morning?" He stated sounded like he's talking to himself, making some theories why I was mad.

"I get it now but it doesn't mean we should not discuss anymore.

"I told you. It's okay. Arte ko lang iyon. Let's just forget it."

Muli niya akong nilapitan at hinawakan sa aking siko. His eyes are pleading. "No.We need to talk about it. We need to discuss things why it became a problem. How it affects you? What triggers you. I'm all ears."

I was out of words. I couldn't find any words to describe what I am feeling right now. This is how he handled my tantrums.

"River, may tumatawag. Baka importante. Sagutin mo na. Ang sakit sa tenga." Mahina kong sabi, hindi pa rin nagbibitaw ng tingin sa lalaki.

Hindi sinagot ni River ang tawag. Harap harapan niyang binabaan ang tumatawag pero hindi sinasadya na nakita ko ang name ng caller.

"What's more important than a reconciliation with you?" He said after he put back his phone to his pocket.

Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa mga bulaklak. Iwas ako nang iwas pero ito siyang habol nang habol sa akin. Minsan talaga...naiisip kong seryoso talaga siya. Pero madalas, mas naiisip kong pinaglololoko niya lang ako. Na lumalapit lang siya ngayon ay dahil may kailangan siya. Hindi ko alam. Hindi ko pa rin siya mabasa kahit na anong gawin ko.