Exposed (Book Three) COMPLETE!

chapter twenty nine

Jensen

I walked up my dads steps, my heart beating out of my chest. I knocked lightly, praying to god he wasn't hurt or in any trouble. He'd called me earlier today, telling me he had something for me but his voice sounded off, as if he'd been crying. I drove over instantly, terrified of what I'd find.

"Hey kiddo." He opened the door with a smile and I looked him up and down a few times, checking to make sure he wasn't injured. I came up empty, watching as he looked at me like I was crazy. The skin around his eyes were red and I could tell he'd been crying, just as I suspected on the phone.

"You're not injured but you've been crying. What's wrong?" He just shook his head, waving me inside and shutting the door behind him.

"First of all, its allergies. And second, nothing's wrong, J. I just have something for you." I followed him into the kitchen as he handed me a shoe box. I looked at him funny again, waiting for an explanation, "I'm going to go sit outside, you should go upstairs and open that. I'm not telling you anymore than that. Come find me when you're done. I love you." He kissed my head before leaving me alone.

I made my way up to my old room, sitting on the bed with the unopened box in my hands. I set it beside me before lifting the lid. On top of orange tissue paper was a letter, addressed to me in my moms handwriting. I reached for it, opening it with shaky hands. I unfolded the letter, a heaviness flooding over me as I began reading.

My sweet Jensen Rose,

If your dad is giving you this, it means you're getting married! Or at least I hope so, or else I'll come back and kick his ass because I made him promise me he wouldn't show you this box until then. Be sure to keep this to yourself, Reese has her own for her day too.

I just want to say that I'm glad it's not that Ryan asshole. He didn't deserve your heart and I'm so glad you made it out when you did. If I had been well, I would have fought him with your dad, no one hurts my babies.

Oh honey, I wish I could be there for this. I wish I could help you plan and help you find a dress. I wish I could be there to watch you walk down the aisle and marry the man of your dreams. I wish I could dance with you at your reception and tell you just how wonderful you are. Because you are extraordinary my dear. I've known that since the day you were born.

     I hope you're marrying a man that never stops showing you how much he loves you. I hope you're marrying someone who pushes you to be the best version of yourself. I hope he makes you laugh and smile and loves you with every ounce of his being. I hope he's kind and gentle but I hope he's also just as goofy and sarcastic as you. I hope you marry someone whose worthy of your beautiful heart. I know you are or else you wouldn't be marrying him. (If he's not all those things, I'll be sure even in death that he doesn't stick around) but I trust you, my baby. I trust that you've picked someone that is perfect for you in every way.

     I hope by now you're singing, singing your heart out and writing beautiful music. I hope you're happy and no longer hurting. I know that you are going to take on my role after I'm gone but please don't stop caring for yourself too. It's not your responsibility to take care of everyone, even if you think that it is.

     Honey, above all else, I wish that I could hug you right now and be telling you this in person but since I can't, know this. You, Jensen Rose, are a woman who I am SO beyond proud of having the opportunity to raise. My 21 years with you were the best years of my life. You are amazing and talented and so kind hearted. You're hilarious and sarcastic and loving. You're stubborn, tough as nails, and so much of a badass that I'm a little jealous. Your soul is one that no one could match. I love and miss you just as much as you miss me. I can promise you that.

     Even though I can't physically be with you on your big day, know that I'm there in spirit. I'm dancing with you, I'm laughing with you, and I'm loving you even from so far away. My love for you and your sister will NEVER fade. I'm so proud of you both and I can't wait to have the best seat in the house to watch you both grow.

     Now that I've soaked this page with tears, I better wrap it up so you'll actually be able to read this. I love you, my sweet rose, so much it hurts. I'm proud of you and even though I'm not there physically, I'm always with you. Tell your dad I love him and to stop sneaking in late night snacks. Tell Reese I love her too and to watch her damn potty mouth.

     I'm sorry I can't be there for your big day but I hope this gift helps ease your pain. I love you baby girl. Never stop shining.

     All my love,

     Momma❤️

     Tears were flooding down my face as I squinted hard to read and reread every word. Sobs raked through my chest. I missed my mom more than anything in the world and this letter meant more to me than I could ever imagine.

     I dug through the tissue paper to find a silver bracelet that contained a single blue rose. There was a sticky note attached to it that read:

     Here's your something blue💙

     I laid on my bed, holding the letter to my chest and let all my emotions out before I went back downstairs. I walked out the back door, finding my dad where I knew I would, sitting in a lawn chair with a beer in his hands. He just looked at me, his eyes glassy before I ran over to him, hugging him so tight I thought he might break.

     "Mom says she loves you and to stop sneaking midnight snacks." I finally said once we'd both calmed down. He just laughed, shaking his head.

     "I don't know how, but that woman knew everything, even from the grave apparently."

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anyone else crying? no? just me?
only a few more chapters and an epilogue left guys