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Mad (Chapters 1 - 5) - @HappyKaylaMoon

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by Rebel_Town

Dedicated to HappyKaylaMoon

by Rebel_Town

Mad (Chapter 1 - 5) by: HappyKaylaMoon

Reviewed by: LeViNeFrEaK

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Hi ! Hope you're doing great!

Here's your review as requested.

Title: From the 5 chapters I've read, I feel the title is quite fitting (Mikael is a psycho)

Cover: Honestly, I feel that your cover isn't eye catching enough. Besides the font, nothing really screamed 'READ ME!'

Blurb: Your blurb, however, had me hooked. It was well written and those different fonts really helped capture my attention!

Chapters: Your chapters were quite long and didn't really pack the 'action' to keep me interested and wanting to read more. I found myself skimming a couple of times to see if things improve along the way.

Characters: I felt a slight, but not strong connection towards Katrina, but not as much as you'd want your readers to 'connect' with your MC. I feel that she is still flat and underdeveloped and with a bit of back story and some more personality, she might become the MC you want. Other characters never really caught my attention - her mother, father, sister and the two other guys from the hotel (unless Mike is Mikael, then the one dude from the hotel). Gabby was also a likeable character, but needs some work for readers to attach to her. Giving your characters a unique attribute may help. I read this one book where the MCs bestie brought a cupcake to lunch every day, and every day it was a different cupcake. It may sound stupid, but 7 years later - and I still remember that character.

Grammar, Structure and Dialogue: There's definitely a lot of room for improvement here. Some speech patterns read strange, the " that were written as << and >> didn't read well, some paragraphs were very wordy (and I lost my reading flow quite easily within them.) You don't want that to happen to your readers, especially in the very beginning of your chapter when all the action is supposed to happen to keep them hooked.) You can always use online writing programs to help you out like ProWriting Aid and HemmingwayApp. They both work very well and are free to use.

Overall, a good effort =)

Keep up the good work! Happy Watting ❤