Fortitude

8-Flatter

This man better shut up or so help me I'll slap the ghetto out of him.

Sighing, I went back to what I was doing and eventually figured out how to connect it to my bluetooth. I picked up my phone and hesitantly played the usual contemporary gospel playlist I always did every day. I turned over slightly to place my head on the window, pouting at the fury that flowed through me from my embarrassing encounter. There was also the fact that I didn't want to see whatever expression he had to my choice of music.

"This is nice," he said, voice sounding honest as his laughter died down. I was honestly waiting for him to shift in his seat or make a condescending comment on my music preferences like Jabari always did.

Jabari.
I should call him later.

I got up and shrugged my shoulders with a tight smile then regained my earlier position. Then Lily called.

Why is she calling me this early in the morning?

I picked up the call, totally ignorant of the fact that my phone was still connected to the car's speakers.

"Hey, hey, hey? So what are you wearing to meet prince audi charming? " her chirpy voiced echoing in the car. Taji tensed up then threw me a questioning side eye before forming a smirk on his lips. My hands trembling, I fidgeted around my bluetooth settings trying to figure out how to shut it up.

"Hello... Raz, you still there... hello..." her voice continued echoing around us. I hang up and threw my head back in utter defeat. Technology was getting the best of me and I'd had enough. Taji slowed down and peered his eyes off the road briefly then tapping on a control. He then looked up to me and gestured to my phone saying, "Call her back." His voice was a mixture of genuineness and a held back laughter. It took me a moment to gauge whether it was safe to do so as I glared at him. I eventually called back.

"Hey,"

"Oh, my goodness, I thought someone stole your phone or something, "

"Naaah, lemme call you back later,"

"Did I wake you up?"

As if.

"No, no, it's just," glancing at the focused driver beside me I lowered my voice, "It's complicated, I'll explain everything later, bye Blue Bird." With that I hang up in the middle of her protest.

The awkward silence was back in session, this time more intense. He broke the ice, again.

"Prince audi charming, "

"Shut up!" I spat then bit my tongue at the terse tone I used that made him freeze for a second. "I mean, ignore that, she's got a few loose screws in her head," I said accompanying it with a similarly awkward laugh. This man's face was hard to read, the normal impulse driven facial features everyone has were there but they lasted for a few seconds and replaced with a nonchalant expression that he always wore. Not too harsh, not too friendly, just neutral. His voice however contrasted all that, his tone was always either calm or slightly nervous. All that in mind, he spoke up again, "At least you have more than one worded answers."

What?

Noting that I didn't say anything back, he looked over to my side and smirked. Changing the topic, he began,"So, how did you end up being an interior designer? "

He's really trying to communicate, I should at least do the same.

"I'd always dreamt about it since I was a child. Well, after the normal phase everyone has of being a surgeon. I fell in love with it from highscool. I watched countless home makeover shows and I just couldn't get enough, so I decided I should do it myself. I took the course in campus, and here I am,"

Why am I rambling?

"In prince audi charming's car," he added in a playful tone.

The audacity.

"Come on, get over that,"

He pulled over at a parking spot in near the National archives then looked over to my side, "Trust me, I'm not ever going to," a smug expression all over his face. I would have normally taken off at the slightest sense of tension rising at such instances. But I sat there, staring into his eyes, trapped by how the sunrise made them look much lighter under the marvin on his head.

If only you didn't have that thing covering that beautiful hair of yours.
What am I saying?
This is wrong.
Get out, now.

I looked away to unbuckle my seat belt then reached for the door.

"To be clear, you know I'll still be texting you right? "

My chest constricted. The weird part though was that I didn't mind it, at all.

"Cool, we'll just see if I'll reply," I turned to say then stepped out. Halfway through shutting the door, I remembered my manners. I bent slightly to face him then politely stated, "Thank you."

"Anytime, " he replied with a grin. I stepped away then watched him drive off.

Anytime.

I despised that remark. Many are times when I thought I had people who had my back. I always had a habit of putting everything and everyone else before me. The few occasions when it was reciprocated I thanked them and received that exact same reply. But anytime meant nothing to me anymore. So I decided to start putting myself first.

My friends started drifting off one after another, for greener pastures. Soon enough, no one wanted to hang out with the stuck up, petty, overly emotional, perfectionist I was. I figured this out after my friendship circle expanded with more and more extroverted people making the (literally) small introverted Raziya fade away. The more they mingled, the closer they got. I felt crowded at every hang out with them. All I did was laugh at their incredibly funny jokes and chuckle at inside jokes that flew over me. The claustrophobia got unbearable and I dropped everything altogether. Every single one of them.

Till I met my current best friend Jab. Despite his outgoing personality, he fulfilled my need to be appreciated by always being there for me. Not in the Disney like best friend who likes you and you start liking them too then you live happily ever after way though. I, however formulated such a fairytale. That one day he'd realise how much we click and he'll confess his undying love for me on a picnic overlooking a golden sunset in the horizon. Pathetic, right? I know. But of late, he too had started drifting.

As I sat on a window seat on the heavily graffiti painted bus. I was grateful that they had the decency of not cranking up the stereo in the morning. Looking over the busy street, hazel brown eyes glowing against Taji's golden skin was all that ran through my mind.

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