What If?

26

"Your Majesty, why are you like this?"

"I don't know."

"You should sleep."

"Then come back."

"How would that help?"

"I don't know. Stop asking me so many questions."

It's silent. Why isn't she saying anything? I look up to see them both smiling at me. They than closed their eyes and began to fade.

My heart began to race as I quickly as I could, I hurried to them trying to hold them both in my arms. But they still were fading. Everything in the room becoming darker as the faded.

"Don't go! Don't leave me again!" I begged them both but they still disappeared in my arms. My arms were empty. Of course they are.

My head then began to ache. Everything went blank before I was on the couch once again. A then voice echoed throughout the room.

I told you, you would regret it.

"I don't regret anything."

If you listened to me this all wouldn't be so painful. You would've been completely fine with it.

"No. Everything is dull and dark without her. I went back to that! To that boring life! But it was worse. That damned child!"

You should've listened.

"Shut up!"

Why? You know I'm right.

"I let myself forget her because I hated these damned emotions. Yet I still subconsciously suffered."

It was still quite easy to ignore. You should've kept ignoring it.

"I thought my whole life was just dark and miserable but for a short moment, it wasn't and I forgot that."

It was better that way.

"That child was a gift from her."

A gift that only caused pain and suffering. One that led her to her death.

"I hated that child for a reason I didn't know why. I didn't even care to know why."

You should've killed her when you didn't.

"As she kept trying and trying to win my affection I came even more filled with hate wanting to see her hurt and the damned chimera was the perfect thing. I didn't like the chimera, yet I kept it around to hurt the child. But the black magic from the chimera made me a fool. Tricked me into feeling affection toward it."

It kept your life from being dull. You should've been satisfied with it.

"It was nothing but a illusion! It was nothing like before. I was simply tricked."

It is still better then that child.

"After watching that child smile at others who were nothing but fascinated with her and how she danced was just like her."

If only you weren't so stubborn. You forced yourself to remember everything after. You just couldn't just let it go.

"I finally knew the reason for all my hatred for her. I let my hatred live inside my heart so I would finally kill her. But each day that I was about to kill her, would pass. Today I would kill her, then tomorrow, and the day after that too but it all just passed by. I was filled with rage and the thirst to kill when I saw that face. But I wanted her to stay. Just a while longer. Then the day she broke down in front of me and cursed at me. Then I saw her at the banquet and she was just like her. She rejected every one of my requests to see her for a month. When I wasn't mad at her about all of those things, I knew something changed."

The change wasn't good since you ended up like this. Just like before. Helpless.

"Shut up!"

Finally I opened my eyes. The sun had just barely risen at all. Am I finally awake?

Seven months she has been gone and my insomnia managed to worsen so much. How long was I even asleep? There was then a knock on the door.

"Your Majesty?" Felix's voice could be heard.

"Come in." I tell him as I sit up. The door opened and closed as Felix came in. Felix came and stood behind the couch.

"Anything?" I ask looking up at him.

"No, nothing." Felix shakes his head.

"But Your Majesty, you should be worried about yourself. How long has it been since you last actually slept?" Felix asks. "That's not what you should be concerned with you should be finding her!" I glare at him as I stand up. "I'll be in my office. Keep searching." I order him as I leave.

That picture of Claude always make me so sad, but it really fits with this chapter. We going back to Athy!