I do not
have agency
over my own
thoughts
I am made up
of different texts
to different friend groups
who decide for me
what I wear
what I say
how long I wait
who I talk too
they decide
if I'm enough
if it's okay
if I'm okay
I thought I was okay with this
not being myself
letting others choose
but I'm beginning to think
maybe I'm not
do I care
do I like that
would I say that
why am I doing this
they care so much
and my brain makes them do this
that little niggling feeling in the corner of it
makes me crave their guidance
they want me to be the best me
but if I'm made up of them
who am I
do I exist
am I a figment
a ghost
an apparition
a dream
or am I just lost
threads of a consciousness
floating through the world
with no real tether
