do not ask if i'm ok

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grief
is funny
well, not funny but—
anyways

one second
I'm fine
I am
well, not fine but—
i'm fine

and then you walk by
you squeeze me
my shoulder
my hand

you do the head tilt
(you know the one)
you lower you voice
scrunch your eyebrows

"h-e-y"
why is one word
so long

you ask if i'm ok
and I am
I am

and suddenly
I am not
I can't breathe
I can't stand

I can't I can't I can't

just like you can't
you won't
you never will again

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