Life with the jokers: on tour

Part 34

Sal smiled as he greeted the fan, and they both stood up to take a picture, I took it on her phone.

"The show last night was amazing. It was my forth time seeing you guys live," she said, her eyes wide.

"Wow, that's amazing. Thank you so much."

She skipped away joyfully, and Sal muttered again with his head low to the table, "I'm honest to God, I'm gonna buy a disguise soon."

"Chill, don't worry," I said- full knowledge that was a stupid phrase, "just don't look around."

"It's worse on Staten Island," Q said, "everyone knows us there. This is only half as bad. That's why we don't film on Staten Island."

I nodded, watching as they kept their heads down, Sal's eyes boggling whenever someone remotely looked like they were heading our way. Turns out, it was just a waitress.

"Hi, what can I get you guys?" She asked, notepad in her hand.

"I will have the pancakes please," Sal said.

Q chimed in, "me too."

And I did the same, "me too."

"So what are you plans when you go to Staten Island?" Q asked.

"Whatever Olivia wants to do. I thought I could show her some great places we used to go, Farrell- our high school," he added for me, "my house. There's not that much else."

"I'd love to," I said.

"Me and Mal are gonna head up there later on. Stay there a couple days."

"Are you guys living separately?" I asked.

He nodded, "yeah, but we're looking for a place."

"The only way I'm allowing you to move is if it's closer to my house," Sal objected. "Who else is gonna get me food?"

Q turned to me, "you should know he calls me up 5 times a week asking me to bring him food. He refuses to cook."

"You can't cook?" I ask. Sal turned pink, making noises as he attempted to think of an excuse.

"I never need to, because I know that in 15 minutes I'm gonna get food delivered to my door."

"We gotta fix that," I joke, "I can teach you. Lesson one: toast."

Q laughed, punching Sal lightly on the arm. "I can't stand it. It's why he's moved everyone out of the Staten Island area."

"I... have not," he paused, before realising the truth. "Well it's not because of my cooking."

"It definitely is. He almost burnt his house down once."

"What? How?" I laughed.

"I..." Sal traced his finger on the table, "forgot to check on my chicken nuggets."

"Half the kitchen was in flames," Q said, laughing through it. "Also, he slept through a burgulary once."

"No way," I gasped.

Q nodded, "lost his TV." And Sal nodded in shame.

Our pancakes arrived, 4 stacked on top of each other. Q ordered bacon to add too.

"So you ever been to New York?" Q asked.

I shook my head, "never left Florida. You know there's this thing called snow? I'd love to see it." Of course this was a joke, I had seen hundreds of pictures from when my friends went skiing. I enjoyed the sun, though, never needing a coat or scarf. My dad could rock flip flops all year round.

"That is crazy. You gotta stay up here, see the snow! You shouldn't go back home yet," Sal said, eyebrows raised.

"Oh yeah?" I raised my eyes too, and we engaged in a staring competition. "And why are you so confident that I wanna stay with you?"

Sal smiled, "ah, I see how it is. I'll book a motel for ya, leave you to go back home to the sun. But you'll come running back to us when your monotonous life gets too boring."

"I'm joking," I pushed my arm on his shoulder, "do you know what a joke is?"

"Hmm," he tilted his head, "I don't. You got me. Thank god my job doesn't depend on it."

"How are you and Mal?" I asked Q, "can't believe you're engaged!"

"Yeah! We're doing great. We're moving in together, actually, until we find a place."

"Did she pass the cat test?"

"Yes. They love her. Benjamin cat the most, so I left a picture of Mal next to his bed. You know, there's not really room for the cats on the bed too now, so he's been downgraded."

"I can't believe you'd trust a cat in your bed when you're unconscious."

"When I'm sleeping? They'd never hurt anyone."

Sal grumbled in disagreement. He viewed cats as the devils pets- purely designed to kill humans. We sat in silence for a bit as we ate, Sal's eyes going from left to right to left as he surveyed every person who appeared to be coming towards the table. It was like a firework close to shooting off.

We finished breakfast, Sal now ready to run out the door and get moving. He hates waiting around.

"Chill, dude," Q said, "it's only 10am. How you getting home?"

"My car is at my cousins in the city. Then it's like a half hour drive. You want to come?" Q nodded and we walked out of the restaurant, down the reptititive straight roads.

"You know your way through New York?" I asked.

"Pffft," Q said, "I've been sneaking here since I was 12, I've found every good bar in the area. You get use to it."

"Those were wild nights," Sal laughed, "can't believe our parents never suspected anything."

"Oh, I'm sure they did. You were so loud trying to get back into your bedroom window, half the house's lights came on."

"Oh yeah," he laughed, "I got yelled at for that."

"What's it like in Florida?" Q asked me, "I couldn't imagine not having New York more than a drive away."

"No, it's nice. Although my version of sneaking out was to the beach. Our nightlife is definitely... not to this standard. We had to buy our own alcohol, and meet at the beach at 3am with a torch."

"It sounds nice," Sal said, "I always wanted to be able to go to the beach whenever I wanted."

"Yeah. It's great. You always think you've fooled your parents, but as we walked up to my drive way, you could practically see their silhouette in the door waiting for me. They were not happy."

We turned onto another road, "it was still warm at 3am?"

"It's like 75 degrees. We went out in just our pyjamas once, came back soaking wet after drunkenly deciding to go swimming."

"In the sea?" Sal asked.

"Uhh... no someone's pool," I laughed, "it was a dare. Got yelled at by an old woman, but in my defence you need at least a fence around your pool."

"Haha, that's amazing. If only you had as much balls as you did back then."

"Yeah, growing up sucks. You ever wonder when you might grow up?"

"Oh, never," Sal said, pointing us to the left.

"That's the beauty of it. We get paid to be dicks and not mature." Q said.