resurrect | h.s

part forty eight

No wonder they're pissed.

After a silent, stressful ride home, we didn't even have time to take a breath when we walked through the door.

Louis and Niall ran up to us, both with letters in their hands.

"Harry, this is bad." Niall says.

Did they get the same letter as me?

"You guys got one too?" I ask.

They nod. "We went out for a drive and found these on my car."

I run my hands through my hair. "Fuck." I mutter.

This isn't good. 

I felt defeated, but so panicked at the same time. All of my friends were in danger now. And it was my fault.

I hated this, worrying about everyone I loved.

If they want me, they can get me. They don't need to go after everything I've ever cared about.

And I swear, if one of them lays a hand on Lydia or Daisy, I'll raise hell, captive or not.

I walk past the guys and head out to the backyard on the deck, trying to suppress my urge to go get fucking high like I usually would in this type of ordeal.

But the therapist's words remained cemented in my head.

"How do you expect to protect her if you're high?"

I feel like I'm being tested. But no, this is just my life.

I let the afternoon air hit my face as I lean against the railing of the deck, looking out on the grassy backyard.

I don't admit it often, but I was scared.

Scared of what they have planned. Scared of if I'll even be able to say goodbye to my baby. Scared for the ones I love and care about.

There's gotta be something that I can do.

"Harry?" I hear Lydia squeak from behind me.

I turn around to acknowledge her. "Hey. Sorry, I just needed some air."

She walks up next to me as I turn back out to face the yard.

"I know this is really stressful..." she starts. "...but we will get through it. We always do."

I hope she's right.

I suck in an inhale as the breeze drifts through my hair. "There's just so much on our plate right now, and a death threat being added on just makes it so much worse."

Lydia lifts my arm so she could come and stand in front of me, my arms resting on the railing on either side of her body.

She looks at me with her bright blue, doe eyes. "I can tell you've been really stressed lately." she says.

I nod and lick my lips. "I know. I'm sorry. I don't mean to take it out on you or anything."

She shakes her head, bringing her hand to the back of my neck and caressing. "It's okay, baby." she soothes.