Shadows of the World » Band of Brothers

18: All Over Again

"Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall." - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

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Returning to Aldbourne was strange - they'd never really had a base before, so to speak. The team were used to hopping from safe house to safe house in one city and then another, having to stay undercover all the while. Juliette supposed she couldn't really complain about being sent out on missions when they'd had it so much worse once.

She chose to stay locked away in the house for the first couple of days after their return. The pauses between each mission now that they were being pulled sporadically on and off the line were both heaven and hell; at least when she was constantly in the field she didn't have time to think about what she'd had to do. In the relative quiet of Aldbourne it seemed that thinking was just about the only thing there was to do.

Juliette sat in bed well into the day, pencil poised against paper. She had wanted to be an artist once upon a time, and though that dream had long since died she tried to remember the beauty in amongst the horror, and the beautiful ceilings at the Paris Opera House were recurrent in these thoughts.

She missed the version of herself that could make something beautiful out of nothing. Now, though she tried, she couldn't think of a single thing to make art from, and that was as sad a thought as any.

All she'd managed was a single, curved line, not even really knowing what it was the makings of, before Thomas burst in. He had, evidently, had enough.

"I've had enough."

Juliette sighed, knowing what was coming. "Tom -"

"No, listen to me." He came to sit atop the bed opposite her, meeting her eyes with an intensity which kept her silent. "We still have a hell of a long way to go before this war is over. You can't let every mission keep getting you down like this."

Juliette stiffened. "You don't know -"

"No, you're right," he interjected, "I don't know what happened, and unless you wanna tell me about it I never will. But we all have to do things we don't want to do to get the job done, Jules. We all have to make sacrifices."

She sighed, putting her notebook and pencil aside. She fiddled with the duvet, avoiding his gaze, and finally nodded. He was right, as always. "I know." She looked up at him with a small smile. "But feeling sorry for myself is what I'm good at."

Thomas laughed and shook his head. "There's lots of things you're good at, Jules."

Juliette smiled, genuinely this time, and leaned forwards to rest her head on his shoulder. "If I go out today will you come with me?"

"If that would make you feel better, then of course."

What had she done to deserve a friend like Tom? She asked herself at least twice daily.

Juliette sighed a while into the comfortable silence that followed. "I know I'm not the only one who has it hard. I'm sorry."

Thomas smiled to himself and squeezed her a little bit. "I didn't come in here to try to make you feel guilty. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone."

Juliette pulled back from him so he'd see the sincerity in her eyes and know that she was telling the truth. "I do know that. I'd be long dead by now if it wasn't for you." She paused and smiled softly at him. "You will never know how grateful I am for you."

"Aw, don't go all sentimental on me now, Jules," Thomas replied. He nudged her gently in the arm to which she laughed. "Now, come on. I think the world has suffered enough and could do with seeing that face of yours again."