His eyes of euphoria

Peaceful within Havoc

Maybe I am a fool and so is everyone else. I think that's quite comforting, makes me less alone I suppose.

- N

Matthew

To smile in the face of the world can be a tell tale sign,  a sign of a deteriorating mask. Just imagine, you a boy of ten and six decided to use a hammer to break it further for the sake of a blonde.

Stupid.

"So do you like him more than me," my brother joked just before chugging down water.

"Yes, he's nicer. Less extravagant and overall less of an idiot." A slap across the head to the same spot as earlier.

"Well, eventually you will get sick of him like I am with you."

No I wouldn't, right

"No he's less insufferable"

An eye roll, with that distinctive Italian flare "Sure just how you didn't get sick of hockey, football and soccer."

I had a tendency back then to quit things, less because I was bad rather because I couldn't be bothered to committing any more. But he was different, and he was a physical person.

"If you're jealous just say so because at least three-quarters of my friends haven't left for college. Unlike some people."

Another hit but this time the nape of my neck, that place that stung with flower petals and morning kisses.

"Boys, " uttered stern by the black hair clip wearing brunette who promised the world to me all those years ago.

"So how is school going"

That topic that everyone -regardless of grades- hated. What was the correct answer that wouldn't warrant a lecture about how quintessential my grades would be for college; so I needed to put my head down further into those books?

"Fine still got my A's and B's in every class"

Lies but not too far from the truth.

"Do you know how dumb you sound, " I looked at him confused " this is why you are single "

I didn't know what it had to do with anything so I voiced my opinion just to hear.

"You are so boring that's why you don't have a girlfriend."

"And you do?" an eyebrow raised to search for an answer within his iris "oh, that's what I thought, also shouldn't you focus on saving for college?"

"I am, kinda, that's not the point. I'm quite the ladies man, I just decided that tying myself down at such a young age would prevent me from ... meeting the right woman."

The second he uttered 'ladies man' I knew his last kiss was the one my mother gave him each time he had a boo-boo. So a good decade.

"Last I checked Wendy's wasn't a person but you do you, ladies man"

Conversations of marriage left their tongues, a hard pill for me to swallow. But I did with vigour, so I could tell tales of grandchildren and a wife to make them proud. A woman whose hair shined every colour of smart, loving and kind. She would be pretty for them.

"You know I have a feeling that you won't get married, " he cackled orange dotting the side of his lips.

I wondered after eating if tears would fill the gaping hole I called a heart. Maybe food, maybe memories of that time I fell face-first into apple pie maybe memories of laughter.