OUT OF THE RED ↝ dave grohl

sixty-seven.

It could have only been a sick joke to say that Krist, Kurt's stand-in older brother, wouldn't be there to watch him get married.

"It's not Krist's fault. Kurt told him that he and Shelli were banned from the wedding tonight. So they're leaving," Dave explained.

It hurt Reagan even more knowing that Dave's admittance to what had happened sounded like the cold truth. Of course Krist, as kind-hearted and dopey as he was, wouldn't have abandoned Kurt like that without a reasonable motive. But Kurt, who could be as vicious as he was gentle, was a whole different story.

"Oh," Reagan said softly. It was all she could say as she sank down onto the foot of the bed with her hands laced together on her lap.

Dave easily read the mix of confusion and hurt on his wife's face. He wasn't at all surprised to see her taking the situation so personally. She had performed alongside those two inseparable men, who it turned out could in fact be pulled apart. He knew that as tough and gritty as she could be, Reagan loved his bandmates like family. It was her love for them that softened her to jelly when she witnessed them at odds, an occurrence Dave had already gotten used to.

"Baby, you haven't been around," Dave said quietly. He sat beside her and stroked away the pieces of her hair straying into her face. "I know you don't get it, but . . ."

"You do," Reagan finished for him. "You're not telling me something."

"I've told you everything that I know," Dave pledged. "I've filled you in as best as I can. But it's different when you're the one who is actually living it."

"So what? Krist and Kurt can't stand each other now? Since when?"

"It's not that. Krist and Shelli are just worried about Kurt and he doesn't want to hear it. They haven't agreed on much as of lately."

"Is this all because of Courtney? Because if it is, you all need to grow up and stop pinning your problems on —,"

"Reagan," Dave said, grabbing her arms and binding them to her side. "I'm just the drummer. I joined this band to drum and that's fucking it. I don't care about the dramatics."

"I know . . . but what if it all falls apart?" Reagan asked, dipping her voice down to a whisper. "What if it ends? What if it's over between you guys and you don't even know it yet?"

"Krist seems to think it is, but I think that's bullshit. He and Kurt are just fighting like stupid kids right now and they're going to eventually get over it."

Dave turned away with an irritated huff, shaking his head. Reagan could tell that over the last year, he had become accustomed to whatever he was going through with Kurt and Krist. There was essentially a neon sign hovering over his head blaring the words 'middle man.' It was obviously true that Reagan had not been there — she hadn't been present to watch the shadow of change creep between the three people she loved so very much. They had left her in September and returned as a very different band, at least to anyone who must have known them personally.

She thought about Nirvana's skyrocketing popularity and the way it had felt to see their record on store shelves or watch as their music video got airtime on MTV. She had spent so much time being proud of them that she hadn't stopped to consider what the actual reward of fame was doing to each of their mental states. Screaming fans, constant interviews and the promise of more to come had seemed to Reagan like the mark of a band that had finally earned their place in the world, but for her boys, it had taken the opposite effect. The world had chewed them up and spit them out and even if though they had lived to tell the tale of it all, the lasting effect was still there.