Randomnessnessness when I'm board.

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If you suffer from depression, then read the following. I have made a random, heartfelt piece of writing about me, self harm, and depression:

I've never cut. Just always wanted to. Recently, I've suffered from depression. But it wasn't always like that. I used to be happy, fun, excitable, jolly, all the time. I still do that. But people don't realize, that it's fake.

On here, the good feelings are real. I genuinely mean it all. In real life, they are often fake.

I want to cut. I really want to cut. I want to take the pain away from my sister, (not sunshine, my blood sister) and take it for myself. I don't always see the point in life. Why are we here?  What is our perpose? What on earth are we supposed to do? What does life mean?

These are questions I've always wanted the answer to. Self harm is the way out I want.

The problem with real self harm for young people, is that their parents will see. And that if the wounds get infected. Or they simply might not have the access to tools for self harm. These are my problems at least.

I have recently found a post of 99 alternatives to cutting and self harm. 2 of them caught my eye. They where:

Draw ton yourself with markers,

And

But plasters/band aids where you want to cut.

I've got a solution to cutting for children which anyone can do, and it doesn't hurt.

You will need:

A pen (I Use a red sharpie)

Your body

1) think about what pen you will use.

2)think about where you would want to cut,  but keep in mind that if your parents see, they will question it. At the top of my legs, is where I 'cut'.

3) find a place that no one will desterb you / find you out. I will be doing it in my bathroom; a safe place that no one will suspect, and I can lock it.

4) take your pen and imagine lines that you would cut with a blade/knife and slash them as if you where cutting.

In time, it will come off, and you can do it over and over. It doesn't harm your body, and helps relieve stress. It is a useful alternative to cutting. Your parents will never know.

If you go swimming, do it across your chest/stomach area, but if you are male and swim, make sure you use swimming shorts, not tiny things, and do it at the top of your legs. Also, don't change in with other people, try to find a separate cubical, or if all else fails, toilets are a good open option.

So it was something a bit different today, but I thought I'd better share it with you.

#SelfHarm

A very depressed, Amy out

PS THE FEELS AFTER WRITING THIS!