kpop oneshots collection

Demons - Minlix (Stray Kids)

TW:
Suicidal thoughts and attempt

He's scared. The window is open. Who opened it? He has to close it. Now.

His breath goes faster, his vision starts to blurry, his hands are shaking. He's fighting his demons. His demons that makes anything horrible. The demons that take control over him, the demons that makes him feel like shit.

Dear Chan,
I really love you; you know? And I am so sorry for what I did but I couldn-

No, no stop thinking! Stop writing letters! No, please... let me alone.

Is all he can think before his demons take control over him.

Do you think you are worth this breath? The effort you take everyone? Everything would turn better without you, wouldn't it? Look, this window, it's open. Jump, just jump. You wouldn't survive it, would you? Isn't it that what you want? Don't you think the people around you deserve to break free from you?

No, I'll get better!

Oh, really? Will you really? Just think about all the looks you'll get; think about all the pressure you will go through... won't it be easier? Not the window? The knifes in the kitchen are sharp enough. Or tie the choker to close. You can always die.

I need to talk to my friends.

And what will they think, hmh? You can write them letters if they are this important to you.

"Lix? Lix? Felix!" A familiar voice calls him making him look up. "Oh yeah Changbin hyung, what it is?" A fake smile replaces the frown on his face to make sure that the older boy won't worry about him. "Wanna come eat?" the younger just nods and follows him. At lunch he barely dares to look up, pretending to be too investigated with his food. He just knows someone would notice something, Seungmin's always able to tell when he had a panic attack by just looking in his eyes. Jisung as his twin definitely could tell that he feels hunted by his won thoughts and then there's Minho... Minho who always seems to understand. Minho whose hug would always make everything better. Minho who is just... way too perfect.

As the dinner is finally finished Felix returns in his room as fast as possible. Subconsciously he starts to think again. I would put the letters on my desk. Or no, I could make photos of them, put the original in the trash and then just write "if I success please look at my gallery under "success" my code is 2150"! "Dear Minho, I love you. I love you with my whole heart and I always will. I am sorry for what I did but I couldn't take it anymore. I really hope you aren't mad at me. He doesn't even notice the tears slipping down his cheeks. He doesn't notice how the pen in his hand starts to write the exact same phrases down. He always refused to write the actual letters; it makes it feel real – more real than it already is. He looks down at the sentences he wrote, the paper that got wet from his tears. A quick look to his window... it's still open. Should he?

He slowly stands up, directing his feet to the window. He looks down, no way someone could survive this. He should do it this night. Not when someone is awake.

Tonight, I will die.

He slowly opens the window a bit further, just to take a closer look. He won't do it now... at the other hand... he leans more forward... just... just a little bit more and he would fall. For sure. He would succeed.

"Hey Lix have you seen my- Lix?!" Fuck. With a fast step Minho closes his arm around Felix waist. "Careful Lixie, a bit further and you would've fallen!" He explains softly to the younger who just replied with a small, nearly inaudible "Exactly."

Minho just brings the younger dancer closer to his chest and closes the window firmly. Somehow it feels right to Felix to be hugged by the older like this, somehow it feels right how Minho drags him to the bed and sits down with him on his lap. Somehow it feels right to lie his head on the elder's chest. Latter softly strokes his hair, displaying love and affection towards the crying boy. Felix hasn't even noticed when he started to cry but here, he is, sobbing on the lap of the boy he's fallen for.