Broken without you

Grief

'Someone help! Please!' He shouted.
A healer came running up to him and ordered him to carry Tonks into a little side room. He carried her in and laid her gently on a hospital bed. She was cold, really cold...and she was very pale...He tried desperately to warm her up by rubbing his hands over her body but it didn't make much of a difference. He didn't know what spell Bellatrix had hit her with but it seemed dangerous. He stroked her hair out of her face. He couldn't bear to lose her.
Remus visited her every day for a week. He had barely been eating and had not been talking to anyone.To everyone's relief, Sirius had woken up a few days ago. Remus was sitting at Tonks's hospital bed, holding her hand.
'Dora...please don't do this,' he whispered, his voice breaking, 'I need you...I won't be able to come visit you tomorrow because it will be the full moon tonight and i'll be recovering...just...please be ok...'
He felt tears fall down his cheeks. It hurt him to see Tonks in a hospital bed...He wished it was him instead of her. He hugged her to his chest and placed a soft kiss on her lips. He sighed and got up. He had to go home...He was going to transform soon.
'I love you Dora...' he murmured, 'I'll never stop.'
He squeezed her hand and, with one final look at her, he left the room and apparated to Grimmauld place.
It was 9:30pm and Remus was just starting to transform. He screamed in pain and bit and scratched himself. He was bleeding badly from a bite on the side of his chest. His vision was becoming blurry.
'Dora...' he whispered before crashing to the floor and lying motionless with his face down. Maybe it was something to do with the fact that he didn't have Tonks to wake up to but this was one of his worst transformations. In the morning he woke up to Sirius's concerned face.
'Hey Sirius...' murmured Remus.
Sirius hugged him.
'Are you alright?' He asked.
'No...' muttered Remus, 'I wish Dora were here...'
Sirius sighed,
'So do I moony...she will be ok...trust me.'
Remus nodded.
'I want to go and see her...'
'You know you can't Remus...' Said Sirius, sighing, 'It's too dangerous for you.'
Remus looked down.
'What if I don't care...I just want to be there for her...What if she wakes up and i'm not there?'
Sirius patted him on the shoulder,
'I understand how you feel, but you'll be no help for her if you're hurt.'
'I guess you're right...' muttered Remus.
'Do you want something to eat?' Asked Sirius.
'I'm not hungry...' replied Remus.
'You've not been eating enough Remus, you're growing weaker...'
'I said i'm not hungry! Just leave it!'
Sirius looked upset.
'Sorry...' said Remus, feeling guilty, 'i'm just so worried...'
'Don't worry about it mate,' said Sirius, 'I'll leave you alone. I hope you feel better soon...' said sirius, leaving the room.
Remus sighed and lay back down in his bed. He couldn't keep it in anymore...His body shook as he sobbed.
'It's all my fault!' He yelled at himself, 'I should have helped her! I should have taken the hit!'
He sobbed for an hour before becoming too weak and falling asleep.
The following morning, he woke up and got dressed immediately. He apparated to St Mungo's without having breakfast and went to Tonks's room. He sat down on the edge of her bed, ignoring the pain he was still feeling from the transformation. He put his hand on her cold cheek and stroked it and he kissed her softly on the lips.
'Hey Dora...' He whispered, 'I'm back...It was horrible waking up yesterday without you there...I wanted to visit you but Sirius stopped me...'
His voice broke as tears escaped his eyes.
'I'm lost without you...Before I met you, I was fine on my own...but now...I can't imagine a world without you. Please come back to me Dora...I miss you...I miss your beautiful smile and your twinkling brown eyes...I'm scared you won't wake up and i'll never be able to talk to you again...scared i'll have to live the rest of my life without you...I don't think I even can...I love you so much Dora...'
Two weeks later, Remus was sitting on her bed and he broke down. He started sobbing, he held her close to his chest and kissed her on her forehead.
'Dora stop it please!' He moaned, 'I love you, please wake up!'

Tonks's P.O.V.

Tonks heard someone sobbing and felt big tears drop onto her face. She heard someone murmuring her name and realised it was Remus. She wanted to reach out, to stroke his cheeks, to tell him everything would be alright, but her arms were too heavy and she couldn't even open her eyes. She fought with everything in her body to wake up and finally, after 10 minutes of trying, she saw a white light surround her and opened her eyes.
'Remus...' She whispered.
She saw him look up, disbelief in his eyes and smiled. He seemed lost for words.
'Dora!' He finally shouted and hugged her, 'I thought I lost you...'
Tonks smiled and brushed the tears off his cheeks. Tears of joy fell down his cheeks.
'I missed you so much...' He whispered.
He pulled her towards him and pressed his lips onto hers. She kissed back. There was something comforting about being in his arms. She felt so safe. She wanted to feel his arms around her and his lips on hers forever.
'Never scare me like that again!' Murmured Remus.
'Sorry,' she whispered and smiled.
Remus buried his face in her neck and she combed her fingers through his hair. She suddenly noticed that he was really thin and she felt blood on the side of his chest.
'Remus...?' She whispered, concerned, 'You're bleeding...and you're really thin...What happened?'
'It's nothing...I'm bleeding because my last transformation was just a bit worse than usual...I'm thin because I haven't been eating as much as I should have...I was just so worried.'
'Oh Remus...' she sighed, 'you can be so silly sometimes...'
He chuckled and nodded.
'I know,' he whispered.
She sighed and held him close. As soon as they got back to headquarters, she would make him eat a lot of food. She didn't want him to become ill. He was clearly already weak.
'It's my fault you're here...' said Remus.
'Why is it your fault?' Asked Tonks, in surprise.
'I should have taken that curse...' muttered Remus.
Tonks raised her eyebrows and stroked his hair out of his face which was covered in tears.
'Listen to me Remus,' she said, firmly, 'this isn't your fault. You've been hurt in far too many battles already. It was my turn to get hit by a curse for once. You don't always have to be the one who gets hurt. Besides, you were duelling Dolohov! Someone had to duel him.'
Remus smiled softly at her,
'I suppose you're right...' he said, 'I love you Dora...'
'I love you too Remus.'
Remus put his hand under her chin and tilted her face upwards so they were millimeters apart. She blushed slightly and saw him smirk.
'You're cute when you blush.' he whispered.
He brushed his lips against hers.
'You mean the world to me...' he whispered through the kiss.
'And you mean everything and more to me,' replied Tonks, smiling.