Lost Chances Renewed

Chapter 1: Remembrance

Life had been a challenge to say the least. Growing up alone on a harsh planet with harsher people had shaped her into the women she was when in her prime, Caring and a survivor. Then the Resistance and First Order came. Tore here down and built her stronger. Finally HE came, and changed everything she thought she knew.
    It had been almost 20 years since that day on Exegol. The day she got everything she wanted but lost everything she needed.
     She had been in a daze after Ben disappeared. Only aware enough to know that she felt empty and hopeless. Her thoughts taken over by the man who had hid behind a mask for so long.
Her breath hitched as the feelings from the past slammed into her. It felt like yesterday was a year ago, yet the emotions running through her, from two decades ago, still felt so fresh. As if she wasn't reliving a memory at all. Like she was actually there, living through it for the first time.

                                Rey
  I pull myself from the past and start to stand as my surroundings hit me. It was dawn! How I sat in meditation for so long I'll never know, but my back sure felt it. Wincing as I stood i felt tired. Strung out. Ready.
   I was walking to the Falcon now. What was once Han Solos pride and joy was now rusted and broken down from years of disuse. She scoffed. 'Who cares anymore anyways?'

    Looking back now she saw again what she had known to be true since celebrations had ended after Exegol. That she was alone. *she stood in the entrance to the cafeteria on Ajan Kloss. It had been 3 days since the battle was won, people had been celebrating nonstop. But she couldnt join them not after... that. Poe and Finn rounded the corner almost knocking Rey to the ground "and there she is!" Poe exclaimed, "our little Scavenger" Finn smiled at them
"To think that a nobody from Jakku could defeat Sidious and Kylo Ren! The monsters weren't as strong as they thought" He laughed, excitement clear on his face as he relished in victory. She wanted to let everybody know but nobody wanted anything from here now. No help maintaining the fleet. No sparring or laughs among friends. Only emptiness and sorrow. She hadnt wanted to let everybody down, and deep inside she knew she didnt. They failed her.

   She had turned and walked away then. 'Can't blame them' she had thought to herself. 'They dont know the truth' but even as she comforted herself the pain was there, but not from the comments about Ben, no. She knew no one would ever change their mind in that regard. But a tear made it through at the thought that she was just a nobody from an unimportant place. 'Rey you are nobody, but not to me'.
    She was back on the falcon now, hands clenched at her side as she stood in the entrance to the cockpit. She started flipping switches. To anyone else it may have looked like she had no idea what she was doing. But the ship started coming to life before her. 'One last ride' she thought to herself. 20 years since she had seen anyone from the Resistance. 10 since she had been in the Falcon. After whipping around the island she had called home for so long just once, she landed. No excitement had been felt while in the air once again. No joy or fulfillment at something that had once been an unbeatable experience. 'I truly am ready then' she turned to the panel that had been all but destroyed 'by my hand' she laughed dryly. Once again thinking of the past, as she had tore out the radio. But it wasnt from the annoyance of constant messages and hails as one might think. It was because of the lack there-of. It had been a constant reminder of her loneliness. It sat in silence for 3 years before she finally had enough and clawed into it like an animal; tears streaming down her face, a growl escaping her throat. '3 damn years! Its like they only saw me as a pawn' she felt bitter.

   She had been reconnecting the wires during her visit to unpleasent memories, and finally the equipment was back to normal. She flipped more switches and tapped in  a message, asking for her friends to come, leaving them the coordinates. She even sent it as an emergencu broadcast. Hoping someone would come for the girl who had saved them all. And she waited. And waited. And waited.