𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕 | ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟚 𝕠𝕗 ' 𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕔𝕝𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕖 ' HIATUS

xxxiv

" Harry!" said Hermione.

Eurielle said nothing but grabbed her bag and stood, " I have my reasons for being distant, maybe it hadn't occurred to you that I thought you needed him more than I," she said softly, but her eyes were still cool and bored. She turned on her heel and left the classroom.

-

As soon as that door closed she broke off into a run, she could feel the tears threatening to fall and she had to get someplace before they did. She rounded an empty corridor and flung the door to the Girl's Bathroom, it was Moaning Myrtle's Toilet so she knew no one would be here.

Eurielle let out a gasping breath as she leaned against the stone wall and wiped vigorously at her eyes,is that what Sirius thought? Did he think she didn't love him?

She had never said it to him, and he told her only once that she could recall, but they both knew it, didn't they? These past two years since his escape from Azkaban had been hectic and she couldn't exactly spend time with him and get to know her father, really.

Maybe she should have tried harder.

" Ellie?" said a voice.

She looked up to see Harry, looking ashamed and sorry, " What is it?" she asked, looking down at the marble floor. He sighed and approached her and leaned on the opposite wall, " I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. . ."

She nodded, " Have you really been," he paused, trying to find the correct words, " Do you really think I need Sirius more than you?"

She sighed, she didn't think, she knew, " Yes,"

" And that's why you don't send letters?"

She frowned, " It's a little more complicated than that," she said swallowing the lump in her throat.

Harry walked up to her and placed himself beside her on the wall, " Well, we have time," he said looking up at the chipped ceiling, " But we better hurry before Myrtle comes out of a toilet or something,"

Eurielle offered him a half laugh, " I'm scared," she whispered bitterly.

" Of Sirius?"

She shrugged, " Not of him really, but of forming a relationship with him and then waking up one day and he not be in my life anymore... I've done a lot of stupid things trying to distract myself from that, y'know," she said quietly, her mind going back to the Yule Ball.

" Like what?"

Eurielle blinked, and slowly hugged herself, letting out a deep breath, " I... I slept with Blaise after the Yule Ball," she whispered.

Harry's eyes bulged out of his head and he looked at her in shock, " But- But I thought it was just a rumor," he said in one breath.

She shook her head slowly and looked up at him, " I felt alone, sad, and unwanted," she sniffed, wiping her eyes, coming to this realization almost a year later, " So I wanted to feel wanted, feel like I mattered to someone, and the worst part was I trusted him."

" I didn't fancy him, never had, but a mutual agreement turned into something so fucking vial. Do you know what it's like to remember someone touching you and- and being with y-you during such a vulnerable mo-moment?" she stuttered.

" I can still feel it and it makes me w-want t-to - it makes me want t-to-," she stopped talking and shook her head, sliding down the stone wall and curling up into a ball. Tears were falling freely now, but she didn't care enough to stop them. She wanted a boiling hot bath, she wanted to wash that feeling of hands roaming her body off.