Cast yourself (you are the spell)

Chapter 40

The harsh bark to her words shocks the other girl just enough that she takes an entire step back, bumping into Maya behind her. She opens and closes her mouth repeatedly, her eyes flying to the muggleborn behind Hope and then back to the pureblood over and over again. Penelope seems to work something out, because then she starts laughing like crazy.

Shit. Hope swallows uselessly as concrete pools into her mouth and sticks itself along her insides. She knows what's coming, and immediately wants to curse herself. She had been too transparent with her actions, and now Penelope will probably see right through her.

Yes. The miserable girl will see right through her. She was too obvious, she had snapped too suddenly, with too much fire for the situation at hand. After exploding at all of them in such a manner, she must look far too suspicious, far too guilty. Hope needs to save face, especially with Penelope still cackling in front of her.

"Oh, my," Penelope breathes, simmering down. Her eyes glance passed Hope once more, before they return to the pureblood. A shiver crawls Hope's spine and chills every nerves. "Does the Great Evil's daughter have a little crush?"

It takes a second for the crowd to catch on, but the effect is near instantaneous. A gasp murmurs across the group and travels to each house in the great hall. Some students begin to look between Josie and Hope with their mouths wide open, their jaws to the floor.

"Josie, what's she talking about?" Elizabeth asks, something in her voice very scared. Hope is scared, too. She's so fucking scared, so scared that everyone will find out that she's a bloodtraitor, that she's betrayed her family.

Josie once asked her what she's afraid of, and it's this-

This, with every single person at the school looking at Hope like they don't recognize her. This, with her best friends staring at her with expressions she can't interpret. This, with the image of her father's murderous rage. This, with her mother's inevitable disappointment. This, with Josie standing near frozen behind her. This, with Penelope standing near frozen in front of her.

So, Hope pretends to act surprised. She pretends that she's just heard the most shocking thing of her life. Like the most vile, disgusting words have just reached her ears. She scrunches her face up with false confusion. In a single moment, Hope makes the worst decision of her life-and she hopes dearly that Josie will understand.

"Saltzman?" She sticks a hand out to gesture behind her, turning around so briefly that she locks eyes with Josie for a split-second. It's almost enough for her resolve to crumble. Almost. "What would I want with a fucking mudblood?"

It's not the first time she's said the word, but it might as well be with the unfamiliarity it touches her tongue with. After a long time of not using it, the word has only grown sour and dreadful in her head. Out of her mouth, it's much worse. It bounces off the walls and echoes painfully in her ears, and she almost clamps her hands over them in fear of going deaf.

Mudblood.

The word travels back down her lips and leaves her with a bitter taste at the back of her throat like acid. It stings between gritted teeth, refusing to be taken back, refusing to be forgotten. The entirety of Hogwarts will most definitely remember for weeks to come.

A small, quiet sniffling sound floats behind Hope's ear, and she shifts her body just to catch sight of Josie running off, her sister chasing after her hot on her heels. Hope watches, knowing this time she can't follow the other girl and fix everything she's messed up.

Why did she do that? The pureblood wonders. How could she have hurt Josie again? Why can't she just keep her mouth shut? Why can't she have just been a little more brave? Hope doesn't want any of this. She had never asked for any of this. She had never wanted to utter such a nasty word, she had never meant to upset Josie at all.