The Christmas Princess (Princess Diaries Fanfic)

Chapter One

3. I am going to Genovia in a few days where I will be spending my Christmas break. Not a big thing, everyone says since I have been doing this for the past four years. Yeaaaaah, but during those holidays a certain person wasn't coming home for the first time in months.

4. Exams are happening this week.

5. My SAT scores. Enough said.

6. Dad wants me to give a speech in Genovia (hmmm... I think the gene for not learning from your previous mistakes runs in the family. It is making me feel so much better. Kind of). They are opening an animal shelter and since it was the project I was working on during the summer holidays, I kind of understand where Dad is coming from. I just don't understand how come he doesn't take my speech skills into consideration.

7. Grandmere has been torturing me with dreadful princess lessons as a retaliation for me attending all formal events during summer alone. She actually had arranged me a date, a guy from England named Andrew, but after I discovered that he didn't like girls and encouraged him to come out, he packed his bags and went back to London to live with his boyfriend. Grandmere thought me being alone was a very bad promotion for Genovia (still not bad enough to let me bring along Harry. Or Rene) and she interpreted Andrew's coming out as me ditching her plans and being rebellious. For someone who is such a skilled manipulator she is totally taking everything too personal.

8. Paparazzi found out about my new hairstyle and now I cannot hide anymore. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE AND I LITERALLY MEAN EVERYWHERE. Last week, I went bowling with Harry, Sebastiano and Rene. Somehow reporters found out and actually played right next to us. Next morning every newspaper in Eastern USA ran an article how terrible Princess Mia is at bowling. I do have to say though, they are remarkably good when it comes to disguise. We had no idea who they were. Or should I say, I had no idea. Rene was too drunk to be aware of anything. Harry was flirting with a waitress and Sebastiano kept making sketches for his new line (yeah, and still they all beat me at bowling).

9. Grandmere has her eyes on the Norwegian banker again and now she wants me to 'socialize' with his nephew (a rich and spoilt kid who lives on a yacht somewhere in the Caribbean) so that 'the families will spend some time together' meaning the banker will be reminded of her existence. Yeah, Grandmere has been dumped for the first time and is not taking it well. Question - why doesn't she just have him killed? It would save everyone so many nerves.

10. Lana and Tina keep setting me up with guys so that I wouldn't go to the Winter Carnival alone (what's up with people not understand the word NO?). It is partly my fault, I admit. I mean, it is not like I ever told them I ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND. Which reminds me ...

11. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND BUT I CANNOT TELL IT TO ANYONE BECAUSE OF ... WELL, BECAUSE NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND. I mean, it's not like it bothers me, you know. It is my life and I don't really care what anyone thinks. But ... it would be so much easier if I could just go to the top of Empire State Building and scream I AM DATING MICHAEL MOSCOVITZ AGAIN AND WE ARE IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK SO JUST SHUT UP. I mean, Grandmere would have a heart attack if she found out I am with Michael again.

Though ... that would solve so many of my problems.

12. Fat Louie hates me. After I went to Genovia for a week in November to attend 'national emergency' (believe it or not, it was not caused by Grandmere), leaving him in the care of my mother, I came back to find out that somehow my cat lost a few pounds. Mum said 'he was on a diet' but I don't think a diet should result in a cat looking emaciated. Louie has still not forgiven me for leaving him to starve. Yes, my own cat hates me. So why does Dad want me to give a speech about animals? I am clearly not capable of taking good care of them.