Faux Pas Girls 1: Game On, Master (Monique)

Chapter 8: Everyone knows a demon or two

***

"I told you to go home yesterday."

Mommy's voice almost echoed in the living room. It's late and I was sure she would be asleep by now. Kaya nga ako umuwi. Matalas ang mga mata niya sa 'kin bago lumambot. My fingers started to play on the ribbon handle of my shopping bags.

"I didn't say I would go home..." I said matter-of-factly.

"You missed your Dad," dagdag niya. She's wearing an unusual nightdress. May kakapalan iyon. May nakapatong ding robe kahit na wala namang makikita sa ilalim.

So... the sht of a man must still be here. Nag-stay rito kahit na wala si Dad? The audacity.

"Hanggang kailan si Tito Lowell dito?" I asked her. Everyone knows a demon or two. Ang kakilala namin, kamag-anak pa.

She crossed her arms on her chest. "I—He didn't say."

"Nasa'n siya?"

"In his room, I guess."

A guess is never good. With men like Tito Lowell, women always have to be sure where they are so we could avoid them.

"Dad allowed him to stay?" tanong ko uli. Inilabas ko ang cell phone ko at nagsimulang mag-type ng text message.

"May business trip sa Singapore ang Daddy mo. Pinayagan niyang mag-stay."

Ako:
You shouldn't let him stay here, Dad.
Even Mom's terrified of him. Why
don't you get it?

I sent the message to Dad.

"What's that? Did you send a text? A message? Kanino?" sunod-sunod na tanong ni Mommy.

"To Zi and Amber, Mom." Our eyes locked with all the words we couldn't say. "Samahan mo 'kong matulog sa kuwarto?" I asked. "I'm scared."

I'm not scared. She is. But her pride won't let her say the words, so I said it for her.

"Okay. Let's sleep together."

Ngumiti ako kay Mommy at lumapit. Kumabit ako sa braso niya at iginiya siyang maglakad papunta sa kuwarto ko. "I bought a lot of things with Zi and Amber. There's a new boutique at the mall with dresses you would love," ani ko sa kanya. "You should join us sa susunod, Mom."

***

Midnight. Mahimbing na si Mommy sa kama habang gising na gising pa 'ko. Nag-send ako ng message sa group chat namin pero tulog na ang mga poks. I tried reading, too, but I ended up punching holes in some stories and questioning dialogues in others.

Masyadong glorified at overrated ang virginity sa fiction. 'Tapos ang mga gaya ko na sxually liberated, pang-third party, pang-psycho na ex-girlfriend, at pang-moral reminder ang roles. We're not admirable because we're not ideal. And because we're not ideal, we're not worthy of a gentleman. Hindi raw kami pang-dambana.

No wonder, hindi nawawala ang misogyny at inequality. Kasi kahit kapwa ko babae, hindi naman talaga pantay ang paningin sa freedom ng lalaki at babae when it comes to sxual activities. Ang common belief, the more a girl engage on sx, the lesser she becomes. They want you to enjoy doing but not too much. Enjoy it but be silent about it. Talk openly about it and you'll be called a slut.

I sighed. Sht. Kaya ayoko kapag hindi ako makatulog at wala akong makausap. Kung ano-ano ang naiisip ko. Bumangon ako at lumabas ng kuwarto. I better make myself a cup of chamomile tea to sleep.

Pagbungad ko sa kusina, nando'n si Tito Lowell at nagkakape. Nagkatinginan kami agad dahil nakaharap siya sa arc. He pressed on the side of his phone na kaharap niya. It's for volume.