Trapped with the Cactus-Lover

Chapter 17

"Is that so? Too bad I've already hit her insecurities, Sammie. Bulls eye."

Napakunot noo naman ako. Leigh is sweet and kind. I know that she'll not badmouth me nor she'll try to hurt other people intentionally. So bakit parang taliwas sa pagkakakilala ko sa kanya yung sinasabi nya ngayon?

"Are you really thinking that she's your betrothed? She's not even pretty. She don't even belong in a good family."

Hindi ako nagsalita. Ayoko makapagsabi ng bagay na makakasakit kay Leigh. She's still my best friend.

"Leigh, C'mon, loose some shits." Awat dito ni Hariette na tahimik lang na umiinom. "Let Sammie do what she wants. She's old enough to explore her sexuality."

"And get her indebted for a favor she got herself into just by helping us? No, thank you." Kalmadong sagot ni Kayleigh dito.

I took a deep breath. Maybe they got it all wrong. They got the idea that I was forced upon the family tradition matapos kong tulungan si Aria to get Corinne. But the truth is, no one is forcing me. My parents weren't even asking me yet If I managed to fulfill it or not. Maybe they haven't convinced my Grandpa yet. But they are keeping it in until some good news for me arises.

So ibig sabihin, I'm still free to do what I want. And I want to do it because I find it fascinating than staring with my plants and letting myself gulped with my usual self.

"You got it wrong, Leigh. I'm doing it because I want to. Terry isn't pretty if we look at it in your own vocabulary. But she's more than that. She had offered me something that no one has ever offered me. And I'm contented with that. She gave me a peace of mind."

Umiling si Leigh.

" She's trying to pull you in her world, Sam. You're too in love with the idea that someone has come to rescue you. You're too giddy into feeling the emotions you don't have. "

"Kasi I'm an Ace? You perceived me to be an asexual, Leigh. Lahat kayo. That's why I become one."

"No, Sammie. You became one because you cannot feel it. You repel the idea of being touched. You repel the idea of submitting yourself. You repel the idea of surrendering your perfect self to someone who wants to claim you."

Hindi ko napigilan yung pagrerebelde  na nararamdaman ko ngayon. They're defining me again for an nth time na para bang isa akong kakaibang specie sa kanila.

"Then about the sparks? I've felt it with Terry. "

Tumawa si Leigh. Samantalang sina Van, Railey, at Hariette ay mga napailing lang.

We both know it. People are conductor of heat and electricity. Some people might feel it because they are a carrier of static energy which causes that friction to produce sparks when rubbed or touched to another.

To those who is not fond of the classic way of defining love, it meant nothing but science.

"Tell me Sammie what you feel for her. And let me tell you what kind of a syndrome you're feeling right now."

"Syndrome? Are you just assuming that I'm sick?"

"No. I'm just assuming you're too over your head again and you might hurt people unintentionally."

Ganoon ba ako? Pafall nga lang ba ako? Kaya ba maging sila na kapag hindi ko sinasadya na maagaw yung atensyon ng mga taong malapit sa kanila, nakakaramdam sila ng inis sa akin minsan? Am I at fault too?

"Leigh, please. Can you just let me with Terry alone? I don't want to be pushy or edgy pag dating sa kanya. I just want us to stay like this."

Masuyo kong hinaplos yung pisngi ng natutulog na si Terry.