Little by Little (Kylo Ren x Reader)

chapter 11🌒

you hear your door open just as your brain was slipping into sleep. you don't move; sniffling a few times. you hear he sound of boots stepping towards you before the covers are ripped from over you; the cold air layering your skin. you open your eyes, seeing kylo loom over you.

sitting up, you turn to face him. a numbing feeling is buzzing over you as you wait for him to speak.

"why did you leave such an important meeting?" he asks you, voice dripping with aggression.

"I felt nauseous; I didn't want to embarrass you.." you start, sarcastically rolling your eyes at him from above you. "why are we attacking a neutral planet? you can't just-" you are cut off by kylo huffing "I can and I will. If they won't join us, they are against us.. and because of that they must fall." he argues with you. your heart is breaking just by hearing his stone cold voice.

"and then what? you'll marry one of their citizens to cover it up, just like you did to me?" your voice cracks. you wished you could warn this planet somehow; to get away, run as far away as they can.

kylo's fists clenched together at his sides as he pulls your jaw to him, making you look up at him. "if you don't watch the way you speak to me, I might find an empress who will" he leaves with that, storming off and out of your room, slamming your door so hard the lamp next to your bed shakes.

the pain is overwhelming you; you feel so disposable that you wished you hadn't survived off eclipse. you wished he would have hung you; you wished you could be ridden of this pain. you feel as if you are being torn apart limb for limb. anger strikes you; causing you to fly up from your bed and to your wedding dress hanging on the window. you pull it from its position and throw it on your bed; crawling up and crying as you rip the material apart. you scream as you take a knife from your small kitchen and start tearing the dress apart.

your dress laid in ruins on your bed and on the floor surrounding it. your breath had returned back to normal as you observed your masterpiece. you say on the floor as stared at it; your dress fanning out around you as you brought your bare knees to your chest, laying your chin on top of them as you silently cried.

the voice in your read is whispering deadly thoughts to you as you considered what she was saying. you could end it all, right now. you could be free and not have to live in the hell that holds you. the darkness of your room doesn't help as you ponder actually doing everything the voice is telling you.

you pull up as much strength as you had left and lay down on the floor, pulling your legs with you as you close your eye; focusing on your breathing before slowly falling into a emotionally drained sleep.

you are back on eclipse. you wake up in your bed with the sun shining through the cracks of your closed curtains. aaliyah appears in your vision and you smile. a feelings on comfort washes over you

"aaliyah" you breath through her name; happy to see her face again.

"good morning your highness, we must be getting ready now. your guests should be arriving soon" she chirps. you realize what this dream is. it is the morning of the massacre.

"aaliyah we have to leave; we must go" you shoot up from your bed, nightgown flowing to your ankles.

she looks at you questioningly "w-what do you mean?" you laughs a nervous laugh.