My Little Moron

Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Wheatley was really growing to like Gladys. He had already liked her quite a lot to start with. But the more time he spent with her, the more he liked her. She wasn't like they said she was at all. He'd always been told she was cold, and cruel, and hated everyone and everything. That she wasn't worth thinking too hard about, that she was unpleasant to be around, and she never gave anyone the time of day. He realised that no other AI had ever told him about her. Everything he knew about her came from humans, and he already knew that humans tried very hard to make themselves look good, even over obviously superior people. They acted like they were better than Gladys, of course, but sometimes the almost-scientists, the ones Gladys called 'interns', liked to pretend they were smarter than the actual scientists. Sometimes they would argue over who was the better employee, although those fights were always because they were trying to get out of testing. Gladys didn't care. They all have to fulfill their quota, no matter who is actually better. So I'm the one who wins, in that case.

Gladys was not only smart, but she was also patient. He would ask her questions for hours, sometimes because he was interested in something and sometimes because he just wanted to know if she knew the answers, not that he'd know if she didn't, and she would calmly answer each and every single one of them with the same measure of seriousness and intensity that she gave to her work. She didn't have to do that, he knew, and he would always make sure to thank her for doing it. He wasn't sure why she put up with it. But he thought she just liked having someone to talk to. He knew he did. Her voice fascinated him. Sometimes she would say words that she repeated in the exact same way, and sometimes how she said the words would change. Her voice was heavily processed, but he was slowly learning to identify the tiny little variations in her voice that gave him clues as to what she was feeling. Sometimes he could feel it too, if she was particularly emotional about something, but he didn't like it when that happened. He didn't mind being a part of Gladys, and he didn't mind sharing thoughts with her, but he was quickly realising that testing really was the only thing that made her happy, and even that didn't always do the trick. Talking to her seemed to improve her mood, but no matter how hard he tried she was always sad. He knew it had something to do with the scientists that would come in and talk to her all day, but he couldn't hear them from where he was and she refused to tell him what they said. But he was her friend and would do his best to help her, and so most of the time they talked about whatever it was she was doing, which was usually testing. He liked hearing her talk about it because she would get excited, and she would be less like that scary Central Core everyone whispered about and become more like his Gladys. And she was his Gladys, because no one knew her like he did, even though he didn't know her too much at all, really, but he was her only friend and he was rather proud of that fact. Of all the people she could have been friends with, she had picked him, the little Something-Something Sphere. Of course, most of the people were humans, which she would never lower herself to befriending, but surely even turrets were better friends than he was? Though now that he thought of it, he decided Gladys might not mind befriending the Rat Man. He didn't know who that was, exactly, but sometimes she would talk to him and he would ignore her, and Wheatley supposed that a half-human, half-rat was technically not human at all, and therefore worthy of her friendship.

After a few more days, though, she started to give him short, disinterested answers, and he did his best to cheer her up. He hoped she wasn't bored of him already. But everything he did seemed to irritate her even more, and he tried very hard not to talk. It was hard, and he didn't always manage. But he was trying. He was almost relieved when she turned all of the lights off except for her overhead light. It was exhausting, spending an entire day trying not to talk. Now she would put herself into sleep mode and hopefully be in a better mood in the morning.