Cast yourself (you are the spell)

Chapter 13

"No," Josette tells her, her head dropping as she continues to cry quietly. A frown splits Hope's lips, but if one were to ask she would call it a sneer. Her chest hurts, and she thinks maybe it's because her heart has stopped beating. Why does she feel so bad for a mudblood? The answer was too easy. "No, my parents are right; I humiliated our family. Have you ever heard of a muggleborn in Slytherin? No wonder they're mad...they think that, that I'm...evil."

A sharp sob escapes her throat, and Anna rubs calming circles into her back. Hope manages to take a step back, but her body doesn't let her do much else. Every time she breathes, she feels flames ignite in her throat. She gets the sudden urge to grab her family ring from her finger and throw it off the tower. To hell with being a Mikaelson. She never knew it could feel this awful.

Yet, she could blame her lineage all she wanted, but this was all her if she thought about it. She was the one that was mean to the girl, after all.

"You're not, though! We've only just met days ago, but you're the kindest person I know!" Anna reassures the witch, to no avail. Josette ignores her.

"You know, I begged the Sorting hat not to put me in Slytherin. Literally anywhere else, I asked," Josette says, humorlessly. "And my parents-they wouldn't even buy me a spare robe, nevermind a scarf or tie. My dad says he's working on talking to my mom about it, but I know he's just pretending."

Hope decides that she's heard enough.

With a heavy heart and lungs like fire, Hope retreats down the staircase with small footsteps. The sound of Josette crying follows her all the way down, and she can still imagine it as she settles back into bed.

She doesn't sleep much the entire night, her eyes open wide to the ceiling, her ears attuned to tears that have long stopped. Foolishly, she had thought hearing the contents of the letter would make her feel better. Now she had even more questions. Her dreams once again plague her, except for this time memories of the summer are added into the mix.

Hope wakes with bloodshot eyes, feeling completely exhausted.

Her dormmates wake up as energized as ever, which only serves to irritate Hope more. She takes a brisk shower and comes into the great hall late. She feels dizzy from guilt, and her stomach acid rises in her throat every other step. She thinks she might throw up. Her book bag weighs heavily on her shoulders, and she nearly drops it as someone bumps into her. She finds a mess of black curls and a first year.

"Oh, sorry, Hope!" Pedro says, already turning away to sprint off and mess around with his friends. An idea sparks in her head and she grabs him by his elbow and pulls him back.

"Not so fast," she tells him. He pouts. "I want you to do something for me. Do you know who Josette Saltzman is?"

She asks it very silently, bending down so he can hear it correctly. Pedro pauses in contemplation.

"I think so," he says, blinking slowly. "The pretty one?"

Hope raises her eyebrows, and Pedro blushes before a grin reaches his lips like he's about to say something smart. "Sorry, I mean, she's the one who handed you your ass in the duel, right?"

Hope grumbles, deciding that she doesn't have a lot of time before classes start and she needs to get to her point. She can explain to him what really happened later and maybe correct him on his profanity. He is a first year, after all.

"That's not what happened," she tells him, but his smile only grows wider. She rummages through her book bag and takes out something. "Anyways, I need you to return this book to her. Right now."

She hands him it, making sure to tuck the letter neatly within it. Pedro frowns.

"Now?" He repeats, and Hope nods firmly. "I haven't had breakfast, yet. Tommy said that there's chocolate-chip pancakes."

"Alright," she takes the book back, making her words purposely slow. "I'll be sure to tell your mother that you can't perform a simple task such as-"

"Fine!" he whines, grabbing the book and running off once again. Hope doesn't have to watch him to know that the book will reach its destination. She doesn't even think twice about the fact that she barely hesitated in handing it over. It feels like a weight has been lifted off her chest, and her book bag is less heavy on her shoulder now.

The relief ends shortly when she realizes that she has Potions first thing, and nothing has changed over the weekend, and Josette is still her partner, and she's still upset with her.

She arrives late with Penelope, to the chastise of Professor Slughorn. She shrugs it off and sits down, trying to ignore the dread sitting in her stomach when Josette barely glances at her.

Professor Slughorn tells them that they will begin preparing the ingredients for the Dreamless Sleep potion.

"As you all know, this potion is used quite a lot in the Wizarding World. When one finds themselves plagued by nightmares or with an injury, once taken this draught will make them drowsy immediately. The amount they drink is directly proportional to how long they will dreamlessly sleep. Tomorrow, during Double Potions, we will begin the steps for concocting one. Today, we will cut, grind, ration, and prepare the ingredients for it."

He writes a set of instructions on the black board and leaves the class to it. Hope grabs a knife and watches Josette from the corner of her eye. The girl herself seems fine, eyes only a little bit puffy. Her hair is straight today, falling around her face repeatedly enough that Josette has to keep pulling it underneath her ear. Hope thinks she covers up well, and that the pureblood would have never noticed if she hadn't witnessed last night. Should she bring it up, or stay quiet instead?

Furthermore, had the muggleborn received the book? Had Pedro actually delivered it, or had she misplaced her trust in him?

Hope continues to watch the other girl quite obviously, not entirely realizing how conspicuous she's being. She can feel Rose's eyes on the back of her head if she shifts just right. Several times she nearly cuts her own finger off while chopping ingredients, she's so distracted, but her eyes still linger expectantly on Josette.

"Don't tell me you're expecting my gratitude," Josette snaps suddenly, hitting a Valerian sprig too harshly. Hope gulps thickly before replying.

"No, actually, I-" Hope wants to tell her that she wants a chance to explain, that she wants her forgiveness instead.

"What did you do to that boy, anyways?" Josette interrupts. Hope doesn't understand immediately. "He's only a first year. Did you blackmail him?" Of course Hope knows that Pedro's only a first year. She wonders what Pedro said to make her look like a monster.

"No-"

"He was practically shaking, trembling with fear. You could have just given it to me yourself. Did you really have to terrorize him like that?" Hope thinks that she'll keep ranting if she doesn't stop her right now.

"No-"

"You can't just bully first-years, Mikaelson-"

"I did not bully him," Hope reiterates finally, feeling slightly flustered. She remembers how Pedro had blushed when she brought up Josette. Pretty, she can almost still hear the way he said it. She responds without thinking. "You can't fault the boy for getting nervous around a pretty girl."

She regrets it immediately. She doesn't even know why she said it. If she wasn't in class, she would point her own wand at her temple and knock herself out.

The air seems to collect stagnantly in the room, until she feels like all the oxygen has been consumed and she's left breathing in poison. Everything passed Josette has turned blurry, all people and objects in the background have disappeared. She waits with toxic breath as Josette looks at her very curiously.

The muggleborn only furrows her eyebrows, says nothing at all, and then goes back to preparing her ingredients.

Hope clenches her fist so hard the inside of her Mikaelson ring leaves a red imprint against angry, buzzing skin.