blue | [hky!!]

sugawara koushi

love hits hard,

i know.

"we were so beautiful," a young man whispers to the wind in the evening autumn air, "but we were so tragic."

meet sugawara koushi, your latest ex-boyfriend - or so he would like to believe. the seventeen-year-old has had a chaotic crush on you since god knows when, and what made it chaotic was the fact that he had fallen so deeply, he began to believe he was dating you.

it was a horrible form of imagination, one that stemmed from desperation and unsaid, pent-up feelings. nobody knows when it truly began - when the void of torment began to eat him alive. he had always seemed so cheerful, so content with life, that not even his best friends daichi nor asahi could foretell the falling of their supposed team mom.

"who's keeping you up at night?" asahi would inquire.

"a special someone." sugawara would chirp in return.

"ah, i was gonna get mad at you for delaying practice because of a lover," daichi steps in, "turns out, it's just his mom."

his fingers gently grazed at a framed picture of you, smiling so freely underneath the bright blue sky, holding your shirt/dress that dared to fly with the wind. memories washed in his brain, nostalgic ones at that, thus his eyes turned downcast with intense melancholy.

all your lights are red,

but i'm green to go.

he never understood where he went wrong: he had blessed you with gifts, showered you with kind words, and embraced you with his touch. he gave you all his time and attention, and devoted his whole being to your godlike existence.

so where? what happened? what did i miss? he questions over and over again, as if repeating the questions would light up a bright big light bulb above his head. but even then he could feel the light bulb's circuit cutting itself off from his head - all hope lost. he gave his all to you so naively, like a little boy fighting to the death for his favourite lollipop.

his eyes were glossy with warm, salty tears as they streaked down his fair cheeks. the emerald tears that once glimmered with so much joy at the mere sight of his dream, now poisoned with all the raw desolation towering over his poor unfortunate soul - the soul that was once so pure, so ethereal, now broken into irreplaceable fragments flying in the dusty, empty, dry wind, off to wherever.

"koushi, stop!"

a pause. a sharp inhale. sugawara glanced at the framed picture once more.

used to see you high,

now you're only low.

then, without warning, he violently hurls it towards the opposite wall, shattering the frame so cruelly. the picture slowly flutters to the ground, but before it touches the ground, the broken boy wrathfully snatches it from the air, crumpling it in the process. he then proceeds to tear it apart vehemently, crying like it was the end of the world - or, perhaps, the end of his world.

"it's not fair! you..." he bellows, throwing away the last remnants of the picture into the air. "... you tricked me.

"i loved you so much, and you loved me too.

"it's just that you didn't love me the way i loved you."

reality had hit him like a truck: all those moments you would sneak in your elbow every time he'd get too close; all those moments you would retreat from his endearing figure whenever he was showering you with affectionate words held a completely different meaning, after all. all this time, he had presumed you were just a very shy, flustered person who reciprocated his feeling regardless of how you acted around him. no, all those gestures held a completely different meaning indeed. in reality, you never wanted to be close that way with him; you never wanted him to kiss you the way lovers kiss; you felt awkward when greeted by his pet names for you.

in other words, sugawara koushi wanted you to stay, and you, his best friend, wanted to stay too.

just, not in the way he planned.

all your lights are red,

but i'm green to go.

_

lmao i just really wanted to update my story

and try my hand at writing on a laptop but

ohmygodssss my creative brain juice evaporated

in the summer heat eye