A Fresh Start UNDER EDITING

Something Called Love

"That Sword were meant to be on my vault at Gringgots how did you get it?"

"What else did you take ON MY VAULTT?"

I definitely can still remember and feel the pain caused by Bellatrix on my hand. This is the hundreth time i've been dreaming about the Malfoy Manor Incident and woke up screaming with full of tears. What makes it worse is with the fact that she is still alive somewhere probably plotting to have revenge. It makes me scared to death, she seems closer than we thought, even though i know that i'm probably safe in London but i'm worried about Hogwarts, The Weaselys, Ginny, Harry, Mum and Dad. I kept texting Ginny everyday to make sure she's alright.

For god sake, i don't have my medications left, i should've buy it once i finnished my work but i forgot like an idiot. I remember my therapist said once to breathe in and out whenever i have a panic attack. After a few minutes of trying, i felt a little better.

This is so frustrating. I hate with the fact that whenever i had this dream, i always woke up screaming or crying. She's my biggest fear and nightmare that i want desperately to dissapear. I was so sure that i'm this close to heal, not until i found out that she's still alive. Suddenly all of my efforts to heal doesn't matter anymore, the nightmares came back. I can't sleep, i can feel that she's close, very close, i just dont know why and how, but i can feel that.

I hate the fact that i can't entirely be honest with my therapist of what happened, i think that's the reason why i can't fully heal because in order to heal, you have to start telling the people who supposed to help you EVERYTHING. Expressing your anger and perspective would be the very first step that you should do and i already fucked it up in the first place.

Well at least i am able to tell my therapist everything in the wizarding world, but i can't just go back there now, i can't just yet. This is the risk i'm going to take, healed partially is still better than not healed at all right. I had to come up with some lie that i used to get kidnapped and tortured by this woman, but i can't tell the part where i had to sacrafice my parents and everything. She might think that i'm some lunatic and will admit me to a mental hospital.

I dont know what i am doing right now, i feel like an idiot, but it's 2 am in the morning and i'm heading to Malfoy's room because i just need someone to talk to, hopefully he's still awake. Don't get your hopes up Hermione, it's 2 freakin am, he would've been asleep already.

I knocked, ther was no answer. I think that he's already asleep. God what am i doing? This is so stupid, i shouldn't have gone to his room. I'm heading back

But wait a minute, before i went back a door was opened and i heard a soft yet sleepy voice.

"Granger? Is that you?" He asked

I turned my back and saw it was Malfoy with his sleepy voice, and his messy hair. I knew it, he was asleep.

"I-"

He raised an eyebrow, confused at my stuttering

"you know what this is actually a bad idea i'm sorry for bothering you" just get back Hermione, talking to the nephew of the woman who tortured you was a stupid idea.

"What happened? Why are your eyes swallen?" He asked in a concerned voice, i think he's aware that this isn't something unusual for me to wake him up in the morning, there must be something serious happened.

I seriously cant hold my tears. I went towards him and unexpectedly , putting both of my hands on his and cried hysterically. Weirdly, he leans his had on top of y head and hugged me back.He was silent but his left hand rubs my shoulder while he put his right hand rubbing my head. It was an awkward hug, but it helps a lot.