The Darker Side of Me

Chapter Seven

Harry allowed himself to be led back down the stairs into the dark cellar. He dreaded the moment he would be left alone with Remus, knowing he'd try and console him. The last thing Harry wanted was consoling. Ironically, all he wanted was another night of solitude.

In front of him, Lupin was shoved forward onto the stone floor and Harry entered behind him. Turning he watched as Lucius levitated the dead body into the room, tossing it lifelessly into the center where it landed with a sickening thud. Cringing away, Harry walked to a pillar and slid down it to the floor, hands wrapping around the back of his head. Neither Death Eater spoke as they left, slamming the door behind them.

Across the room, Harry could hear Remus struggling to his feet. "Harry," he said breathlessly as he made his way to where the boy sat. A hand came to rest on his shoulder but Harry was quick to pull away as if the very touch of it burned his skin. "Harry it's alright."

"Alright?" Harry asked incredulously, raising his head to meet those gold eyes. "Professor, I just killed an innocent person." His voice was hollow, but inside disgust and anger mixed together causing his head to swim. Involuntarily, his eyes were drawn to the body a few feet away. Was this the reason Voldemort had discarded the man in the cellar? Was it meant to be a constant reminder of what Harry was capable of?

Remus sighed and sat down in front of Harry, blocking his view of the corpse. Instead, Harry was forced to look at the angry blistering welp on the side of Lupin's face. A pang of guilt was added to the many emotions swirling within him. "You had no other choice. It doesn't make you any different than you were before" Lupin said, his voice full of empathy. "I know it doesn't make it any easier, Harry but you can't dwell on something you had no control over."

Harry nodded though he did not agree. He wanted the conversation to be over. He wanted to be able to forget about the terrible act he had committed. Those pleading eyes wouldn't let him forget, however. He saw them every time he closed his eyes; begging him for mercy they wouldn't receive.

Silence overtook them, but Harry could see Lupin fighting the urge to say something. He would get as far as opening his mouth before deciding against it and return to wringing his hands together. Deep down, Harry prayed the words wouldn't come to him. He was almost certain the subject would pertain to what Voldemort had said about Dumbledore and Harry didn't feel like defending his feelings. He didn't want to admit out loud his hate for the old man that had been dwelling inside him all year.

"Harry," Lupin began, finally finding his nerve. "Sirius…" His voice cracked causing a lump to form in Harry's throat. He hadn't expected to talk about Sirius, not now. It was apparent, Remus couldn't either. He quickly changed tactics. " What Voldemort said about Dumbledore…" There it was.

" I don't want to talk about it right now," Harry said firmly, laying his head back against the pillar and closing his eyes. It was evidently enough for Remus. Silence fell between them again as exhaustion overpowered Harry and he fell into a restless sleep.

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Weeks passed without Voldemort's presence. Food, if you could call it that, was delivered twice a day, however, the prisoners could barely stomach it. The body that still lay in the middle of the room had begun it's decomposition process a week ago and the smell of rotting flesh had filled the small space. Harry knew now that this had been the real reason for leaving it with them. This was the least of their problems, however.

Lupin's condition, despite the infection of the many burns on his body, had declined steadily. He had grown increasingly quiet over the past few days, unwilling to admit what they both knew was coming. The full moon could only be days away judging by Lupin's demeanor, and with the growing danger, Harry's fear grew as well. He'd imagined they'd discard of him sooner or later, but not like this. Never like this. He'd welcomed the thought of death, for the sweet relief it would bring him, but how would Remus be able to cope? How would anyone be able to live with themselves after tearing someone apart limb from limb?