It Started With Counting Numbers....

Chapter Four

"So that bitch was the cause of your schizophrenia?" Jack asked, a bit angry.

I nodded. We were playing a game where when Jack flipped the coin, if it landed on heads he had to ask me a question and if it landed on tails I had to ask him a question.

I just finished telling him the cause of my schizophrenia. Her name was Taylor Jardine. She was my best friend in the whole world. I never thought she'd lie to me and back stab me. I mean, of course Tay moved away, but she left the pain she left me behind and never apologized. Tay talked shit and spread these god awful rumors, and told the school I was gay. She hurt me more than anything and triggered something in my brain I react and now I'm stuck with voices. One of the voices sounds just like her to be honest. Everyday, I still feel like I'm trapped in an ice cold lake under thick ice trying to get out. People walk past me and look down at me, but never get me out. Even though the cold water is filling my lungs, it won't kill me fast enough. Now Jack is here prying me out of the ice. Even though he's using a small hair dryer, it's helping.

Jack looked a bit angry, but then I smiled and he returned it. He scooted closer to me and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I hugged him back and smelled his cologne. It smelt a little like aftershave and cigarets?

"Do you smoke?" I asked.

"No, a few of my mates do and the wind was blowing on my side." Jack said as he smelt himself. "I can change."

I shook my head. It's kind of a nice smell. It reminded me of the girl at school whom of smelt like a soft cigaret smoke and mint gum. Also, a mix of AriZona Green Tea. She had acne and clogged pores like me, and was very quiet.

Jack let go and rubbed my back a few times. We both reached for the bag of chips at the same time and our hands brushed.

I kept mine there but Jack pulled away and chuckled. I smiled and grabbed the chips and ate a few.

Even though we've been hanging out for only a few days, Jack has gotten really close to me. Does he feel the same way?

There's exactly 26 cracks in the wall and there is 438 hardwood planks.

Jack doesn't love a faggot like you!

Fag, fag, fag.

"I need my meds Jack." I said as I began to breath heavy.

Don't take them!

He'll poison you!

Poison, poison, poison.

"Okay, okay. Calm down, Lex." Jack said quickly as he paused the game and rummaged through my back.

My breathing turned shaky as the voices and murmurs began screaming.

Jack popped out a couple of each and tossed me a can of Hawaiian Punch. I popped the pills in my mouth and quickly swallow.

"It's okay. Fifteen minutes. C'mere." Jack said as he pulled me towards him. Our hips touched and he threw his arm around me.

When anyone else touched me, I freaked out. I pushed them away and screamed. But Jack on the other hand calmed me down.

I settled into his arm and nuzzled his shoulder.

He's gonna hurt you.

Pain, pain, pain.

He's out to get you.

Jack handed me the controller so I can work on our house in MineCraft. We built a really big castle in creative mode and are building an Alice And Wonderland/ Nightmare Before Christmas theme.

Jack's thumb mindlessly rubbed against my shoulder and my head stayed on his other shoulder. Jack smiled to himself when I nuzzled my hair into his neck and hugged me tight again.

"Are you okay now?" He asked.

No, you're not.

You're ugly.

He can't help a fag like you.

Idiot, idiot, idiot.

Drop dead.

Faggot.

You're UGLY

YOU'RE A WASTE OF SPACE

DROP DEAD.

DEATH, DEATH, DEATH!

I gasped and grasped my head. Here comes a panic attack. Jack jumped and grabbed my hands. My breathing got heavy.

You'reafaggotwhyaren'tyoudead?

Dead, Dead, Dead.

Killyourselffaffot

Die, die, die.

"Alex, I'm gonna do something. You can't be mad, alright?" Jack said.

I gripped the carpet and continued to breath heavy. I kept trying to steady my breathing like my therapist said to do.

You're so stupid!

He can't breath!

Death, death, death.

I let out a sharp scream and grabbed my head.

"Stop!" I yelled.

Jack took my hands and said, "Focus on me. Focus on me."

I tried. The voices over-powered Jack's and I let out a squeak and grabbed Jack's arms.

"H-help, Jack." I stuttered.

"Focus on my lips, Alex."

I felt warm, soft lips against mine. He worked his mouth on mine and placed his hands on my hips.

The voices screamed but I forced them back and focused on Jack's lips. He tasted like the soda pop he just drank, and a mixture of mint gum too.

Jack gently moved back and brushed bits of hair from my eye. I felt tears trail down my cheeks as the voices came back. I gripped Jack and snapped my eyes shut. Jack pulled me into his lap and kissed me again.

He was so gentle with me, unlike Maxx and his companions. Jack cared. It was then I realized I loved him all along. Jack was always there when I'd fall. Jack was always there to pick up my broken pieces and put me back together. Fuck, if he had to use tape, he would. Jack always put me back together.

Our lips softly worked in sync as Jack rubbed my back lovingly. I gently ran my thumb across the stubble that was growing on his jaw and placed my other hand on his cheek.

Slowly, he pulled away. I reached towards my bag and Jack handed it to me.

Ripping the bag open and taking out my meds and water bottle, I aggressively shoved my pills in my mouth along with a big swallow of water.

"Fifteen minutes, Jack. Fifteen minutes, or 900 seconds, or 54,000 milliseconds." I said quickly

Jack smiled.

"Yes, Lexi. Fifteen minutes. You can make it." Jack soothed as he lightly picked me up.

I felt the bed underneath me and I rolled over on my stomach. Jack got a few blankets and took off his hoodie, gently throwing it over me. He crawled into the bed and pulled all of the blankets over is, including the comforter, and laid next to me.

His fingers found my back as he traced little hearts on my back and little stars. I heard the voices start to die down into a soft whisper like usual, and I wasn't counting seconds anymore.

Deciding to roll into Jack, I cuddled into his chest and lightly kissed his neck. Jack hugged me tightly and rubbed my back still.

"You know I love you, Alex. Right?" He asked with a small chuckle.

I smiled and nodded.

"I love you too, Jack."