Traded//Han Jisung X Reader

Chapter 5

we separate for air but once we do, it's not like the last time, we didn't go right back into it. he just stayed there, catching our breaths as we stare into each other's eyes. you could see and feel the love radiating off of each of us.

but before we could even start making out again, we heard Woojin yell something from the hallway. I couldn't understand so I looked to Jisung with a confused look. "Breakfast is ready" he translated I thanked him as we got up and tried to look like we weren't just all over each other

we walked out of our shared room. but we didn't walk out like the couple you'd think we are by now. I walked behind him as he walked in front of me. we sat on opposite sides of the table and he acted like nothing happened, like the hickeys below my shirt collar was something he does on the daily

it really hurt. do I mean nothing to him, so much so that he doesn't want to act phased or at least want to walk in as a couple, cause you'd think after a makeout session like that he'd be dying to call me his... but he wasn't...

I tried to forget about it as we continued to eat, I told Chan that I was excusing myself and he translated to the others. I got up, thanking Woojin for the food with the little Korean Seungmin has been teaching me every now and again, he looked a bit shocked but mostly proud

I smiled as I left to me and Jisung's shared room on my own. Seungmin had given me a book about learning Korean and the culture. I sat on my bed and started reading it. I was a few pages in when the door opened and Jisung walked in. I was on my side, my back facing him. but I knew it was him cause of his footsteps, you learn a lot when you get kidnapped.

soon I feel a shift on my bed and soon a pair of arms wrap around my waist and I flinch out of instinct "It's just me love" I put my book down and turn in his arms to face him. he smiled softly before he leaned in to kiss me, I put my hand up, blocking him. 

he looked confused but I turned back around without a word and continued my book. soon he placed his head in my neck and left soft little kisses. I couldn't deny I felt something when he did that. but I didn't know how to confront him about how I felt, so I did what I learned how to do way to easily 

I faked it

just to make him happy. cause what if I told him no and he hit me? what if he just forced it anyway? there's no use in trying to stop him

I put my book down, turned, and put my hands on each of his shoulders, letting him have his way with me. but when his eyes met mine, his eyes turned sad before he got up and walked away. I looked at him confused as I held myself up with one arm.

his back was turned to me when he stopped "I'm not going to touch you again till you realize I'm not going to use you like the others" was all he said and then he walked right out of our shared room.

I hated the feeling in my chest, was it trust? Love? was I starting to care for a man who suddenly refuses to touch me cause I think he's like the others?

maybe just a little

but can he blame me? after living like that for years, it's like that's the only thing I'm programmed to think.

just then there was a knock on the door, I hummed loudly and suddenly Chan came through the door with a box in hand

"I got you a phone!" he said with a bright smile, He handed me the box and I took it, looking down at it as Chan sat beside me "Hey, can I ask you something?" I asked looking at him. he nodded with another smile "Men like sex right?" I saw the change in his face as he chokes and started coughing

once he finished dying his cheeks turned red as he looked into my eyes "Yes." he responded simply. "then why does Jisung refuse to have sex with me?" I asked, as small tears well up. Chan's eyes turned soft as he pulls me into a hug

"Oh hun, what do you think sex is for?" he asked and it didn't take me long to respond "it's a way for men to get off" I explained and he shook his head. "sex isn't just for men, it's supposed to be pleasuring for both parties," he explained and I looked at him confused 

"the ones who kidnapped you were bad guys. what they did was rape you, they had sex with you when you didn't want it. Sex is supposed to be an intimate moment between 2 lovers, it's a way to connect on a different level. not for the women to lay there and let the man have his way" he explained as he pulled away and that's when I looked down

"That's what you tried to do isn't it?" Chan asked softly as he placed a hand on my arm. I nodded weakly. "he said he wouldn't touch me till I realize he's not like the others" I explain and a soft smile made its way onto his face

"he's waiting for you to be ready, ready to accept the fact not everyone is like your kidnappers, he really does love you and he won't shut up about how amazing you are." I shoot my head up at that comment "He talks about me?" I asked with wide eyes as he nodded

"Constantly"

I smile at that, the biggest smile I've ever smiled in years and I didn't even realize I was smiling that wide till Chan laughed softly 

"And by the looks of it, you love him too!"