The Girl in the Mirror Christmas (Harry Styles fanfic)

3 Months Later

“Hey” I say nervously.

“Hi” she says, looking at me strangely.

She crosses her arms across her chest defensively. I smile lightly at the cute cartoon images on her pyjamas, she never wore them when we were together. We always slept naked or just in our underwear. I miss those days so much, it was simple back then. It was all much simpler than it is now.

“What do you want Harry?” she asks, getting straight to the point.

She doesn’t say it horribly like I deserve, she should be screaming at me now, but I am thankful that she doesn’t. I don’t deserve a second of her time, I am glad she is giving me a few minutes though. I can tell though she wants me to get to the point and to then leave her alone.

“I wanted to talk to you” I say, swallowing the lump in my throat.

I am terrified of trying to speak to her and having this conversation. It has been a long time since I have spoken to her properly, like she deserved. It has been too long since I have given her the time and attention she deserves.

“Ok” she says, standing still with her arms crossed “Go on” she urges.
“You look well” I say, scratching the back of my head.

I really need some courage to say what I need too. I haven’t felt this nervous and on edge in a long time. That proves to me how important she is, if she wasn’t I wouldn’t feel like this.

“So do you, you look like you again” she smiles lightly.

I knew she would still say something nice to me, even after everything I have done. I don’t deserve her niceness, I never have. I can tell though that she isn’t finding it easy to be nice to me today. I just hope what I say next makes it all easier for her.

“Thank you” I say gratefully “Is there somewhere where we can talk more privately?” I ask.

I don’t like the thought of Niall being able to hear us, it is only making me feel more nervous. She turns to the living room door and closes it shut, ensuring who is inside can’t over hear us.

“This is as private as you’re going to get” she tells me.

I nod and I bite down on my lip, trying to work out in my head how to start this. Everything I had planned to say has completely left my head.

“Can I say sorry first?” I ask.

She raises her eyebrow at me “Yes, you can”.

This apology is long overdue and I should be doing some serious grovelling to get her to forgive me.

“I am really sorry for everything that happened. I know sorry doesn’t take back everything I have said and done, but I really do mean it” I say genuinely.

“Ok” she says simply.

I don’t know if she has accepted my apology fully, I just have to hope she has. I’m not exactly in the position to ask and challenge her on it.

“I know I have fucked up too many times. I know I don’t deserve anything from you, but I have to try” I say.

She stares at me questionably and she takes a small step away from me. I can see it in her eyes, she knows why I am here. This isn’t just about forgiveness, it is about so much more.

“Don’t” she says shaking her head.
“Don’t what?” I ask.
“Don’t say what you are going to say” she tells me.

I can’t help it though, I need to say it. I need to say how I feel, because I can’t live with the regret of not saying it.