Chapter 12 - Twelve Midnight
published: Wednesday, 6 May 2020
Matthew stared at the screen of his phone. His lock screen was a picture of himself and James at the beach last year. Matthew had tossed him into the ocean, and the picture caught him crumpled in a laugh while James spluttered indignantly in the water.
The clock numbers changed.
00:00
His finger hovered over the screen uncertainly.
Late epiphanies were rare, but in the midst of his feverish state, Matthew had resolved to get his life together.
So before he could change his mind and back out of what was probably the best decision he'd ever made in his life, Matthew typed in Elizabeth's contact name and dialled her phone.
The ringing sound continued for a few seconds, Matthew's heart hammering wildly against his ribcage, though this time, his quickening pulse was unrelated to the drugs still gradually leeching out of his system.
An abrupt silence came as Elizabeth's voice came through. "Matt?" she said tentatively.
The ghost of a smile flittered across his face.
"That's me," he said quietly.
There was another beat of silence.
"How are you?"
The corner of his mouth tugged up. "Um, well, I overdosed two nights ago." When she didn't reply, Matthew swallowed. "Meth and...some other stuff."
He braced himself for her to hang up.
"Are you okay?" her voice was flooded with concern and wariness.
"Yeah." He closed his eyes. "Actually, no. I-I'm not okay." Matthew set the phone down beside his ear, putting it on speaker. "I haven't been okay for...a while now."
He winced. "Wow, um, that was depressing. I didn't mean for it to sound that sad."
A low laugh trickled through the phone. "That's okay. You can be sad."
"Well, that's kind of the point of this phone call." Matthew paused. "I don't want to be sad anymore. I-I've done a lot of stupid things trying to run away from my life, and well, it almost killed me, so..."
"Mhm," Elizabeth hummed, almost smiling. "Maybe it's worth not doing stupid things anymore?"
This time he did grin. "Yeah, I think so." Matthew hesitated. He rolled over onto his side, staring at the moon. He'd never talked to anyone like this before. It was...terrifying, being this vulnerable with someone who could turn their back on him at any second.
Before he could panic and hang up, Matthew tried to remind himself that Elizabeth was probably out there looking at the same moon. He inhaled deeply. "It's become a problem. The drugs. And the drinking. All of it." The words were on the tip of his tongue, but Matthew couldn't - he couldn't get it out -
"And you want to stop?"
Matthew nodded, then realised she couldn't see him and hastily replaced it with a "yes."
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