you come first. (mattia polibio)

oh... her... (part 68)

@cynthiaparker:
yea
(one day ago)

@mattiapolibio:
oh i gtg bye
(one day ago)

I scrolled up more and read more conversations.

@mattiapolibio sent a post
(three days ago)

@cynthiaparker:
LMAOOO @tiktokroom is wildinggg
(three days ago)

@mattiapolibio:
frrrr i haven't been on it in a fat min, thankfully
(three days ago)

@cynthiaparker:
same
(three days ago)

@cynthiaparker
are you going on another vacation with everyone from spring break?
(one weeks ago)

@mattiapolibio:
yuhh
(one week ago)

@cynthiaparker:
do you even want to?
(one week ago)

@mattiapolibio:
i mean yeah cause it's all the homies but i know there's gonna be dumbass drama
(one week ago)

@cynthiaparker:
there definitely will be. good luck w that shit haha
(one week ago)

@mattiapolibio:
thanks haha
(one week ago)

I aggressively put Mattia's phone down.

"Are you joking? This isn't real. You're still texting her?! You are still texting the girl who broke us up and fucked up our relationship several times?!" I yelled.

Mattia, yet again, had no words.

"I mean- it's not like- Luna- I-" Mattia stuttered.
"Hm?" I said.
"It's not like I'm flirting or anything. We're just texting" Mattia said.
"How do you just take me out to a nice dinner, spoil me and give me so much love then still continue to text the girl who literally fucked everything up. She ruined our California vacation, she ruined our spring break vacation, she's made us fight countless times. We are literally fighting right now because of her! I don't fucking understand!" I said enraged.
"I bet you still text Jeremiah" Mattia snapped back at me.
"That is completely different" I argued.
"Is it though?" Mattia questioned.
"He didn't do anything to hurt you" I said.
"Didn't you go off and literally spend a whole day with him when we went to California or am I making shit up?" Mattia said.
"Okay, but you also went right back to Cynthia when you called me a hypocrite for literally meeting him" I said.
"You kissed him!" Mattia yelled.
"We weren't together!" I yelled back.
"Doesn't mean it didn't hurt" Mattia said as his voice lowered.

I sighed. Mattia did too.

"Mattia I don't know what to do. We always fight on vacation. Why do we always fight on vacation? I don't get it!" I said as tears streamed down my face.
"Yeah we do..." He agreed.

We both sat back down on the bed. I looked down as my tears stained the comforter. I watched each individual tear fall from my eye and hit the bed. My tears fogged my vision until Mattia wiped away the tears on my cheeks with the sleeve of his hoodie. I looked up at him. He looked exhausted and to be quite honest, I was too. I just wish I knew why we always fought on vacation. Is that a normal thing for couples? Is there a reason behind this? I feel like we act like we have everything figured out but maybe we don't. No, we definitely don't. I stared into Mattia's eyes for awhile.

"Why do you text her still?" I asked quietly.
"I just... Well her and I were friends before shit went down and I know this sounds bad but I just was scared to cut her off. I don't know I just felt bad even after all she's done..." Mattia admitted.

I nodded and looked off to the side.

"Do you want me to cut her off?" Mattia asked.
"I mean yeah obviously. But also I get where you're coming from with the Jeremiah situation too..." I admitted.

Mattia nodded.

"I don't want to make you cut him off though. As much as I get jealous you two are friends and he didn't really do anything to jeopardize our relationship if i'm being honest..." Mattia said.
"Well what do we do now...?" I asked.
"Honestly, Luna... I have no idea. I hate fighting with you. I feel like I lose apart of me when we are fighting or not talking. But it's also hard to avoid sometimes. I get why you're mad though. I understand" Mattia said.
"Sorry if I overreacted. I just don't fuck with her, like at all" I said.
"Yeah, I get it" Mattia said and awkwardly looked away.
"But thanks for understanding and being mature about all this. I don't know why we always end up fighting on vacation either and yeah I wish we wouldn't but shit happens, I guess. No relationship is perfect and we shouldn't act like ours is either. Everyone fights sometimes but we just can't let it get the best of us, we just have to work on compromising and forgiveness..." I said.

Mattia pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist. I straddled him then I wrapped my arms around his gm neck. He pulled me into a hug. I rested my head on his shoulder and hugged him. I began to, silently, cry again. Mattia knew, my tears were soaking his sweatshirt. He put his large hand on my head and stroked my hair, in an effort to comfort me. We hugged for what seemed like forever. I was still really confused at this point, I don't know where Mattia and I stand. I don't know if we are still fighting or is we forgave each other. I sometimes just wish times like this were easier...

(an: what do you think is going to happen next? are they going to make up or not???)