This is a personal account of a 23 year old young adult who is living in a world after a tremendous and world wrecking war. There is nothing but destruction and death. He is still grieving the death of his young and beloved wife. He is lonely and ha...
Everything is so silent.Everything is so still. Silence is calming, but I don't feel calm anymore.
No one really talks anymore. I don't even know how many are still alive. No one has received any news since October 1st 2020. It has been five years. Half the people are probably dead. Survival has become increasingly difficult.
I feel like I cannot do this anymore. The world is dying. No one can save it.
Five hears since the war. The world never healed. The problems only become worse. I don't know how long I can keep up. I have nothing to do. I have food which can go on for years but no one to share it with. I wish I had someone. Some sort of company.
My family is dead. Charlie too. Everything has been destroyed by the government. I wonder if there is any government anymore. I haven't heard any news. No one has. Every sort of communication has been cut off.
I have been trying to get in touch with any human form but so far nothing. I am checking every radio frequency possible. Just to hear a voice. Any voice. Of any human being. Just to know that I am not alone.
I have to write it all down. I think I might be going crazy. Nothing seems sane anymore. This can happen when someone has been in alone for more than 3 years. I have to write it so I can know what is real and what isn't.
I think I have to get out and look for some proof of life. I know it in my heart that someone is out there all alone, just like me.
Why did it have to come to this?
I wish I had apologized to Charlie before I lost her. My heart breaks every time I think about what my last words to her were. I said, "I hope you die. After all you deserve it."
Why did I fight? I wish I hadn't. I wish Charlie had listened to me. I told her not to go outside. That's what the fight was about.
She said, "I won't go too far and will be back soon." I couldn't let her go outside. I screamed at her and it all led to a big fight. She didn't listen to me. She stepped outside anyway. I told her not to go. I begged her not to. She did it anyway. I wish I had held her close to me. I wish I didn't let her leave.
She never returned. It's been 3 years. I can't assume anything else but death. But my heart doesn't want to believe it yet. I have to see her with my own two eyes to believe it fully.
Her clothes too have almost lost her scent. In a few months, I'll forget what she smelled like. I try to imagine her face, afraid that I will forget her. Her beautiful brown hair which always smelled like coconuts. Her almond like caramel coloured eyes. So warm and so peaceful. I have her pictures. I can't bear to look at them as they give nothing but pain.
I miss her.
Somewhere in my heart, I hope that she is still alive.
I hope to see her again.
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