Cliche(A parody)

Cliche# 8 :BFF Love

"Thanks, I'm warm already." Jake smiled, which made me frown.

HAAAAAA

"Seriously, where in the heck do they come from?" I asked while looking around in confusion.

"I honestly don't know. Hey, I found these diamonds on the ground somewhere, you can have them." Jake handed me a set of diamond earrings that were in a velvet box.

"Thank you, Obama would love to sell these for his drugs and alcohol." Jake frowned, which made the sound of  babies crying  come out of nowhere.

"I will forever love you as long as my heart beats and as long as my lungs breath. I can be your Guardian Angel and protect you from all wrong. " Jake said while looking into my eyes.

"You're such a good brother Jake, but I think you need to save those words for the girl you love." I patted his shoulder while walking away. The sound of babies  crying resurfaced. I wonder why Jake is frowning so much today.

"Think fast you whore!" I turned my head to the voice and a baseball smashed into my face. I let out a scream of pain.

"Haha, you obviously think fast you dumb bitch!" I heard Obama angelically laugh.

"I think my nose is broken!" I cried out in pain.

"That's your punishment for being so damn slow!"

"I'm sorry, I probably did deserve this for being so slow." I mean my grades are only S, since I was doing so good in school they created another grade entirely for me. I'm such a dumbass.

"Whatever, I'm bored with you right now. I'm going to go sacrifice the blood of virgins, bye waste of space."  Obama then walked away before I could even respond.

+ + + +  (I'm so sorry. This is a warning, a final warning to turn back now.)

"Move those tits girls!" Our extremely masculine lady coach shouted as only the girls were running. The coach told the boys to sit on their useless ball sacks. She's not very fond of males.

"Yeah,  make those delectable jugs move! Except for you Brittany, your's are as flat as the bottom of my Converse shoes." The coach yelled at a frail looking girl with an extremely flat chest. Like did she get completely neglected of any kind of dairy as a small child? I mean damn that shit was flat.

"Now you girls are going to come into this plastic tub filled with jelly and wrestle until I tell you gals to stop!  Now, you girls line up by cup size. Ashley, you're first in line since you obviously have the body of a porn star. Becky, you're next since you have the body of an slightly less popular porn star. If you hear a buzzing sound and a scream continue, that is just how Ms. Penus grades you on your performance. Ashley and Becky step into the ring!"  Two blond bombshells stepped into the jelly-filled tub. Ms. Penus blew her whistle. Suddenly, all lights went out except for one light being shined on the tub. Ms.Penus stepped out of the spotlight and walked into the dark where we couldn't see her.

Ashley  took a wrestling stance while Becky charged and they both fell in to the tub. A loud buzzing sound could be heard.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I jumped in surprise since I thought a walrus was being being brutally murdered.

Becky pinned Ashley.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!" I was slightly scared for my life, since the sound grew louder.

Ashley struggled, but she wasn't able to move.

"That's enough, you guys are done for the day. I'm beat , I'm going home." All of the lights came back on and Penus was nowhere to be found.

We went to go to the girl's locker room, but a loud cackling could be heard. Green mist surrounded the gym and all the lights shut off again, but now with a dim red light at the center of the gym.

"You puny humans are going to be no match for me. I am am underling of the great Satan!" Suddenly Obama appeared with a wide grin and a green cape on.

"No you don't!" Jake appeared also with a blue cape on.

"What are you guys doing?" I moved my eyes back and forth between the love of my life and Jake.

"He's trying to take over the world and I'm trying to save it! I'm one of God's angels, while Obama is the underling of The Dark Lord." Jake explained.

"But I love you Obama!" I cried out while running to him, but he punched me in the face and pushed me away from him.

"I only have eyes for one person and that's the man in the blue cape in front of me!" Obama said while looking the man stealing whore Jake.

"I guess I've always clouded my feelings for you by replacing them by covincing myself that I'm in love with Marqueshananana. I love you Obama!" Jake said while smiling, which made the choir sing.

"I love you Jake."  Obama smiled and I could hear the sound of puppies dying. Obama ran into Jake's arms while they made out to my utter horror.

"Let's forget about God and Satan and let's just be together!" Obama said, which made Jake nod his head eagerly. A blinding white light flooded the gym before Jake and Obama disappeared.

"Who will love me?" I sadly muttered to myself while sadly looking at the ground.

"I'll always be there for you." A big hand clasped on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Ms. Penus smiling at me.

"Really?"

"Really."

I believed in her. I believed that my Penus will do great things for me . I know that Penus will only try and penetrate my walls until it penetrates my heart.

The End

I have an extremely negative mind and this is a show on how negative I can be. I hope that I still have the same amount of readers I had before this chapter buuuut that would be wishful thinking. I'm honestly so fucking tired now. I'm going straight to bed after writing this. *yawns* Night.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Quick question. Did anyone of you yawn while I typed the word yawn? If so how many times did you yawn while looking at the words yawn? Well that's it *yawns* Night..again. *yawns* man am I tired. I keep on yawning.