Pariah

You know it will always just be me

"I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck, than any girl you'll ever meet. Sweetie you had me."

Hope stretched her newly repaired shoulder with a wince. She had joked about her arm falling off, but after a very long consultation with a very good doctor, it had been brought to her attention just how close it actually was to doing just that.

And maybe that's why she had been so reluctant to get it looked at. In fear of being told just that. In fear of having another obstacle to jump over in getting back to her job. A possibility she wasn't even sure of anymore.

She frowned at the tentative knock on her front door. If it was a stranger, she was going to cry. The whole point of this was for that to stop happening. And Kelley wasn't due for her visit for another three weeks.

She ultimately abandoned the building idea, turns out she's quite impatient and building completely new houses takes awhile.

Instead, she just bought the first one that seemed suitable. An impulsive decision, but hell, she's known for those. Why not continue the tradition? Her therapist would hate that.

She opened the door with a slight furrow of her eyebrows, that deepened in her recognition.

"What are you doing here?"

Melody shrugged, "Wanted to make sure you were okay, 'cause your shoulder. Was in the area."

There's no way in hell that could be true. Melody lived at least an hour and half away, but Hope didn't voice any discrepancies. She only stepped to the side and closed the door behind Melody after she entered.

Melody looked around the house silently, following Hope wherever she allowed her to go.

They eventually find themselves in the kitchen. Melody uncharacteristically staring at the linoleum floor, her arms wrapped around herself as though to keep steady.

"It's, uh, it's nice. The house." Melody makes sure to avoid any and all eye contact she can.

She's sure she'd lose any composure she might still have if she caught the roiling blue of Hope's eyes. She's a different person when she's looking at Hope. Not in a bad way. Just in all the ways.

That's the weird paradox of being in love with someone you refuse to touch out of principle and rules that you, yourself, made up out of irrational fear.

"I thought so." Hope was more curious about this turn of events than anything. She wasn't mad. She wasn't upset. Just curious.

She'd be crazy not to realize the effect she had on Melody. The effect they had on each other.

It was like putting two magnets next to each other and expecting them not to gravitate and cling together like their lives depended on it.

In the end, these were the facts: Melody loves Hope, and Hope loves Melody, but neither of them seemed to really understand what any of that meant for the other. And talking about it looked to be out of the question. At least for now.

And of course, Hope knew what she wanted it to mean. But it's hard to communicate that when your person is dating someone else.

"Wanted something I could settle down in for a really long time."

There's a meaning behind Hope's words that isn't lost on Melody. It's the jolt that finally tricks Melody into looking Hope in the eyes.

And she sees it. The raw passion that often left her knees quaking and her chest heaving. The love that she was still getting used to. And the intention, the pure intention, in Hope's eyes to completely and totally unravel Melody like it was the singular thing she was put on this very earth to do.