~*~
It is the impossible year.
We all sit in a circle in Mina's unfinished apartment. I can't even think of what to say. "I loved him," Kaminari starts.
Mina nods. "We all did."
Kami shakes his head. "No like- I loved him. I was in love with him a-and like it was just so. Oh my god I wanted to tell him so bad."
Kirishima wipes away his own tears. "I'm so sorry Kaminari."
We all share out best memories with Sero, and we attend his funeral together, and it is the saddest month of my life. As a group, it feels wrong to smoke or drink or do anything that would harm our health. We encourage Kaminari to attend therapy, which he does. Lord knows he needs it desperately. I keep a picture of Sero and me at a water park pinned right next to my bed. Sometimes, when I miss him the most I call his phone just to hear his voice again.
Yo, this is Sero Hanta. Sorry I couldn't pick up, call me back soon, promise I'll catch up to ya.
That month I spend the most time at Mina's apartment. We confide in each other, throw mini-parties with just us four like old times and try to cope with Sero's death. But we make it through, somehow, some way, we make it through.
Tenya tries to be as supportive as he can, but it's hard for him. I understand, and I try to limit venting to him about it. There's nothing he can do, and I'm better off speaking to Mina or Kiri.
On a lighter note, Mina receives enough money from her parents that she can find out the gender of her baby. She is almost seven months pregnant. I cannot believe how fast time has passed by. Tenya and I have officially been together three months.
I spend a lot of my time on the weekends studying with Tenya. Sat's are coming up. Since he is a year older than me, he knows what to expect. When he took them, he overly prepared and studied almost everyday, taking mock exam's every other week, and having a paid tutor help him. He has gotten a perfect or near perfect score every mock exam. His junior year, he got a 1400 on his pre-sat, no tutor involved. And then, he achieved a perfect 1600 on his exam this year. I'm hoping to get a 1000. Just enough to push me into a mediocre college.
School will be coming to an end soon, and next year I will be a Senior. Tenya will get accepted into his perfect college. I want to worry but with so much on my plate there's no room to care. I reassure myself by reminding me of how much he loves me and how he trusts me.
Now that football season is over, Iida has taken up track and field. He runs relays and such. I don't go to meets at all, because I would be more than out of place, so instead I just stare at the pictures he sends me of him running.
At school I try to spend more lunches with Kaminari, on the days he even shows up. Jirou usually tags along with us, and she keeps Kaminari distracted by telling him about the show she's going to be playing. Some lunches we talk about playing guitar and drums and everything else in between.
I call Mykiah almost everyday, either before or after school and check in on her. I ask her how I should go about learning to play piano and what songs she first started learning. Secretly, I tell her to leave David and come back to America with me. She laughs and tells me she won't but if she could.
I'm trying so hard to make everything okay.
Late at night, when I know I am the only one around, I cry. I sob and sob and sob. I do not want to grow up, I don't want to be finishing out my junior year and I don't want Mina to be having a baby soon and I don't want one of my best friends to be dead.
I fantasize about being a young boy again. I feel adolescence take over my mind when I finally sleep in the form of dreams. I see Mina, Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero and myself all standing in a hot topic buying My Chemical Romance T-shirts before heading to Panda Express. Kirishima pays for Mina's food and she giggles and flinches at his touch because she's not used to it. Kaminari and Sero will pick at each others food and play argue with each other. I will smile because for the first time in my life I am wanted somewhere that isn't my own home or a juvenile detention center.
When I wake up though, all that I can see is myself. Sometimes Tenya, my parents, Mina or my sister. But mostly myself. I fill myself with Tenya so I can't think about it. When he's there, everything is okay. When his body is pressed into mine, there is nothing but Tenya and I am okay with that. I love him so much.
Iida lies next to me in post-sex bliss and says, "Have you ever been in trouble? Like, legal trouble."
I sigh. "Yes, I have unfortunately."
He turns to face me and softly brushes my hair aside. "Care to explain?" he whispers.
I shrug. "I stole things before I moved here. Lots of things. One day I got caught, simple as that."
His voice is deep and soft as he begins to hum. "Did you go to jail?"
A heavy sigh escapes my lips. "I went to a holding cell, my mom bailed me out. I went to trial, and then I went to juvenile detention for three months and was on parole for another three months," I explain. "Look- to be blunt, I don't like talking about."
"I understand." He pauses. "Round two?"
I shake my head, "I'm already sore."
"I can fix that," he tells me. I roll over in bed so Tenya has access to my back, in which he begins giving me a massage. It is times like these that I realize I wouldn't trade Tenya for the world. He is so caring and wonderful to me, despite how hard his personal life is for him.
At the end of the day, I can rely that heaven is by my side in the form of Tenya Iida.
~*~
YOU ARE READING
pretend it only happened in a dream | bakuiida
FanfictionPerfection seems to only exist in the form of a six-foot, closeted nerd named Tenya Iida. But this is never going to work, at least that's what everything I've learned from growing up has told me.
