√ mask off | lee haechan

8

Am I not capable of making Haechan happy?

Is he keeping secrets from me?

But I thought we are going through everything together.

Why am I so sensitive when it comes to him?

Why is he making me ask myself questions?

You groan as you bring your knees closer and softly hit your forehead against your knee caps.

Does he truly love me?

You choked up with the thought that just crossed your mind. You rocked yourself side by side trying to calm yourself as you felt the alcohol taking over you.

You felt a presence in front of you, taking away the beer from you and placing it on the ground.

"Hey, you okay?" You could hear Jaemin's soothing voice as he reached out to your back, stroking it softly.

You raised your head to look at the boy, and he widened in shock to see how flushed your cheeks were and he looked at the crumpled beer cans next to you.

"I think you need to stop drinking," Jaemin said, realizing how drunk you are, he took the towel and wrapped it around you. "Let's get you inside,"

You squirmed around in his arms, trying to escape, "No, let me be," Your voice cracked and Jaemin saw how the tears in your eyes were threatening to fall. "Please," you softly beg him.

Jaemin sighs, and nodded, releasing you from his grip as you walk to the corner of the pool to dip your legs in it.

The other boys witnessed how you were behaving and they know you are upset for tonight and they'll just keep an eye on you while you are being dragged away by your own thoughts again.

They continue to play softly, making sure the ball wouldn't fly over to you.

Jaemin hated how he can hear you sighing every time when you just stare into empty spaces and how you would splash the cold water onto your face harshly in order to sober up and to cover the tears staining your cheeks.

Your head lifted up when you heard the ringing tone of your phone. Almost immediately, you lift your legs from the pool and walk to the table with a few stumbles due to the alcohol.

Realizing it was Jisung, you smiled to yourself, of course, why would he call me.

"Noona!" You lit up, hearing the cheerful boy on the line. You then walk to the kitchen in order to grab a glass of cold water so you can talk to Jisung properly.

"Yes, handsome," you heard the boy chuckle at your response.

"I passed the final round! And guess what is better?"

You took a sip from the ice water, as you looked at him through the phone. "Hm, you got a girlfriend there?"

Jisung scoffed at that, "No! Why would I have one when I have you for my entire life,"

You felt better hearing that, at least there's someone who needs me in their life.

"Says the boy who wants to be independent," You mocked him which he laughed happily. You can guess it is going to be good news when he laughs at everything you said.

"I got in the competition! And it will be in 12 days from now!" Jisung excitedly said, showing you the offer letter and you laughed along.

"Wow, my baby is really doing great without me," You said as you sip the ice water again and walk to the pool, wanting to show Jisung what you are up to but you stopped on your track, when you heard Mark.

"The arranged marriage, it was about that,"

Your heart drops, arranged marriage? Whos?

"Noona?" Jisung called out from the other line when he realized it wasn't because the connection timed out. You quickly bid goodbye to Jisung as he was left confused.

"Did they set out the date?" Renjun asked as you saw him leaning against the pool. The boys didn't see you hiding behind the curtains.

"They went for dinner to sort those things out, that's why Haechan isn't able to come yet."

Your breath halted, did you hear that right?

Haechan's arranged marriage?

You stumbled backward due to instability and shock as a sudden feeling of nausea made you want to puke. You felt your chest tightening, the feeling of pure shock and grief seeping under your skin at the same time.

Haechan's arranged marriage?

Words couldn't be expressed. At all. Your tongue was suddenly struck with the thoughts you had in mind. A sea of mixed emotions washed over you,

the boy I love, will no longer be mine?

Stepping a foot out of the main door, you immediately sprint to the beach nearby. You had the instinct to run away forever, maybe this would be the best decision you ever made in your life.

You felt humiliated loving a boy who now belongs to someone else. Those dark, unwanted thoughts started to flood your mind, making your vision cloudy and blurry as tears were trickling down your cheeks.

No lies, running away seemed very tempting right now, you thought as you stopped running. Sweaty palms on your knees, gasping for air as you suppress your ugly cries, not wanting the others in the neighborhood to wake up at 2 am.

You breathed out loudly as tears were gushing down your cheeks horribly, you looked at the small tides of waves crashing the sand in front of you.

Haechan's arranged marriage?

Those words felt like a sword stabbing your heart, ripping it open. You took deep breaths to calm yourself. The feeling of betrayal was greater in your heart.

You couldn't click on any idea why he wouldn't sit down and discuss with you as you remembered these past few days where Haechan would cry or apologize to you, without you knowing why.

"Park Yoojin!" You didn't have to turn around to check who it was, you memorized his voice by heart. The voice that had been calling you sweetly all this time.

The voice that is a melody to my soul.

You heard his fast footsteps as he ran to you, then engulfing you into a tight back hug. You gulped, lowering your head to cover your face with your hair.

The warmth that reminds me I'm safe.

Haechan slowly make out his words between pants "I saw you ran out from the penthouse and the boys said you were drunk,"

The care he would give.

You bit your lips, you wanted to turn around and slap him in the face so bad but you didn't have the heart to do it.

I love him too much.

"Are you okay?" Haechan turns you around as he removes the hair that was covering your face. You clench your fist tight, trying to control yourself from breaking down in front of him.

Haechan saw the tears on your face and he used his thumb to wipe the tears away. "Baby, what's wrong," He asks softly, kissing the tip of your nose.

Kisses that make me feel special.

Seeing you wouldn't answer him, he pulls you closer to him, hugging you tight as you lean your forehead against his chest. His heartbeats are fast, you didn't know it was from the running or worried.

They will all be left in memories.

You love this too much, his warmth, his scent that intoxicating you, and his murmurs of encouraging words.

You loosen your tight fist, laying your arms limp by your side. Fluttering your eyes shut as you let the tears falls onto your cheeks again.

Let me have him, just for this one last time.