All Your Fates (Currently editing/updating)

Chapter 14: Fastest Shooter (Part 1)

"Hit him up for what?" I asked, perplexed.

Pepper smiled bashfully and punched my arm, "You knowwwwwww."

"No, I can't even begin to imagine," I started when it suddenly dawned on me, "Oh! You mean... oh my gawd...Reallllllly?"

"Not that!" Pepper exclaimed and corrected me, "For his autograph!"

"Ah, I see," I said, and I felt strangely relieved. I couldn't tell you why. It wasn't like I was jealous.

As if.

I took a swig of the Red Bull.

"Yeah," Pepper nodded, "I'm going to see if he'll sign my boobs."

I suddenly choked on my drink and coughed it out all over the empty seat in front of me. Holy shit! People turned around and stared. I was glad no one was sitting in it at the time. I started to rub the seat down, wishing I had a napkin to wipe it up with. I took off my stained cardigan to dab the upholstery. The cleaning staff must be used to taking care of these types of messes... right?

Pepper patted my back as I gagged and sputtered. When I finally regained composure, I sat back, stunned, and said, "Wow."

And then a moment later: "Well, good luck with that."

Pepper narrowed her eyes and stuck out her chin defiantly, "How do you mean?"

"Look," I explained carefully, "he's a man of science. I'm sure he has no time for 'groupies' the likes of you."

"Oh, you'd be surprised," Pepper bragged.

I folded my arms over my chest. "Orly?"

"Uh huh," she retorted.

"So you are saying that women just throw themselves at the feet of scientists," I challenged her.

"Sure, why not," she said, her eyes darting back to the stage where it seemed as if things were finally getting underway. The lights over our heads dimmed while those on the stage brightened.

"Do you do this often? How many scientists have signed your... you know?" I asked, while trying not to look down at her... you know.

"Lots and lots," Pepper said with a shrug. In her line of sight, a matronly woman in an upholstered dress suit sauntered towards the podium. It was the Dean. My stomach tightened.

"Really," I said flatly.

"Yup," she said, popping the P.

"Like who?" I asked with an accusatory tone.

"Oh you know," Pepper said while looking up to the ceiling as if deep in thought, "The usual. Stephen Hawking..."

"STEPHEN HAWKING has signed your BOOBS?!" I sputtered with incredulity. I must have said it far too loudly, as several people in the rows ahead of us turned around to deliver me dirty looks. And then I realized that the introduction had already started on stage.

"You are such a spaz!" Pepper whispered-yelled at me.

"Stephen Hawking," I returned, shaking my head with derision.

Pepper shrugged.

"Well, who else?" I pumped her. I don't know why I had to know. I just couldn't believe there was a secret cabal of female groupies sexing up the nerds. It was like Bizarro World.

"I don't know," Pepper said looking far off in the distance, "Bill Nye...?"

"BILL NYE???" I almost shouted again, and then lowered my voice again, "Bill Nye! The science guy!??"