A.K. Falling For The Opening Band

33. goddamn

I stayed home a lot and my phone died a bit ago but here I am laying on my floor, stareing at the ceiling.

It's a week till tour and I haven't packed. It's been weeks since I spoke to Awsten. I always think I should text him but don't.

I woke up to loud knocking on my door. I got up and opened the door and saw a pissed looking Awsten.

Oh no...

"God damn Des." He groaned and entered, shutting the door behind him.

"You know I fucking love you, so much. But you can't do that. I told you not to shut me out, I told you to include me or even just text me a bit so I know you're okay but you didnt Des. You fucking didnt." He snapped

I stood there and listened with my head hung low.

"I know that it's really difficult to deal with loss, I know its hurts you. Esspeshially with someone you're close to but I'm here. Im here for you...." he pauses and took a breath to calm down. "I'm here to help you through and keep you grounded but you cant run away from me like that."

"I'm sorry." I said softly.

Awsten gently put his hand on my cheek. "Include me in your life darlin."

"I will, I just didn't want to be needy or something like that."

"For being a Parxie it doesnt seem like you know me." He smiled

I laughed as tears slipped from my eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked holding my face and wiping the tears away

"I made you mad at me.."

"Babe, It's okay. Im not mad anymore, I just wanted to know if you where okay." Awsten said softly and ran a hand threw my hair.

"Want to dye my hair?" I asked softly

Awsten kissed my cheek and smiled against it.

"Always" 

Awsten rubbing in the bright pink hair dye in my hair.

"I remember when I first wanted to dye my hair a pale blue my mom helped me and Crave started to play and she actually learned Geoffs part to sing with me." I said softly and closed my eyes leaning into his touch.

"That's adorable." Awsten smiled and gently kissed my neck.

"She really enjoyed you, whenever I was sad after a break up she would force me to dance with her to Territory."

Awsten stay quite as he let me talk.

God I love him

"Do you want to vist her house?" He asked softly

"I really do.. but my dad isn't going to let me." I sighed and I felt Awsten kiss my cheek.

"We will find a way Des. You need to say goodbye."

"Geesuse Awsten what did I do to deserve you." I smiled and opened my eyes.

"You're all finished babe, 30 minuets now." He said softly

"Can you wash it out? If I get in the shower I won't leave it."

"Of course." He said while putting on a shower cap.

We stayed in the kitched and listened to music. I was sitting on the counter while Awsten made food.

"Look, I'm a great chef." He smiled and showed me.

"10/10 chef status." I smiled

"Youre 10/10 on hotness." He said while stirring his food.

I blushed, "your 20/10 on hotness" I fired back

Awsten moved his food to where it wasnt on the hot burner, (safety first) Then
He moved between my legs.

"You're wrong darling." He smiled and gently kissed me.
The kiss lasted for a bit before the time went off scareing us both, causeing is to pull apart. Awsten looked at me and laughed putting his forehead on mine, I smiled too.

As we were washing out my hair Awsten smiled at me.

"You know Des," he started as he ran his fingure threw my hair.

"Hmm?" I asked

"I really do love you." He said calmly

"I can't believe you're telling me this while my head is in a sink."

Awsten laughed loudly and continued to was my hair.