✓ | 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ➳ d. schrute

( iii ) ♡ 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐭𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥

"I'd like to play if it's just for fun. I played basketball in school." saleswoman Phyllis Lapin chimed in.

"Um... Yeah. Who else? We have Jim. We have Ryan, the new guy, right? Untested. Willing to prove himself now. A lot of passion, a lot of heart." Michael continued, ignoring Phyllis.

"But I'm getting paid to skip lunch, right?" Ryan asked.

"Yes. This is business. The business of team building and morale boosting. Uh, who else?"

"I can help out if you need me." Oscar said.

"I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we box."

"I have a hoop in my driveway." Kevin chimed in.

"No."

"I have a sports bra." Phyllis said. Willow looked into the camera and raised her eyebrows.

"No! No, ridiculous." 

"Michael, look!" Dwight called out as he threw a crumpled piece of paper into the garbage can.

"Close. All right, uh, me, Stan the man, Jim, Ryan and Dwight. Sorry Phyllis." Michael declared.

"Yes! Can I be Team Captain?" Dwight asked.

"No, I'm the team captain."

"Can I be teem manager?"

"No! I'm the team manager. You can be assistant to the team manager."

"Assistant team manager?"

"No."

"Okay, we'll see who's working this weekend then."

"Jim, you're in charge of the vacation schedule now. Threat neutralized." 

♡

"Off the backboard!" Michael exclaimed as he threw a piece of paper at Pam.

"Please don't throw garbage at me." Pam said.

"Oh, Pam with a zinger. Hey, Pam, how would you, like to be our cheerleader today? You know, some, ah, pigtails? A little halter top, you could tie that up. And you know, something a little youthful, for a change. Just this once? And Willow, you can do it too!" 

"Yeah, not happening." Willow said.

"Me neither, I can't cheer against my fiance."

"I'll do it. Wear a little flouncy skirt if you need." Jim added. Willow looked over at Pam, a hand over her mouth hiding a smile.

"Yeah, I bet you would. Just try not to be too gay on the court. And by gay I mean, um, you know, not in a homosexual way at all. I mean the uh, you know, like the bad-at-sports way. I think that goes without saying." Michael said defensively. 

"Sure." Willow muttered.

"Maybe Angela would cheer lead." Pam suggested.

"Yeah right."

"I'll do it." Phyllis chimed in.

"Oh, yuck, that's worse than you playing. 'Cause we need you as an alternate in case somebody gets hurt. That's where we need you. Blessed be those who sit and wait. You made it, suit up, you're on the team! All right, cool! Very good." 

"Damage control." Willow mouthed to the cameras.

♡

The entirety of the upstairs workers of Dunder Mifflin Scranton made their way down the stairs of their building and into the warehouse. The team were already changed and preparing for their game. Willow noticed Dwight in the corner of the warehouse, struggling to put on some sort of eye mask. She looked around a couple times before jogging over to him.