Ch.18

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"No Jackson, I need to stop. This isn't right." I took his hands off of me and went to go to sit on the sofa.
"I'll talk to you later, alright?" I just ignored him and kept looking at the tv. I heard the door shut so I got up and went to my room.

I didn't understand why I was acting this way. I had a great guy in front of me and I was just pushing him away. Jake really wants to be with me and I'm just being stupid. I flopped on my bed and started to listen to some music when a notification popped up on my phone.

I went to my messages and saw a text from Troy. NO. STOP.

I laid on my bed and just kept listening to music when someone started to call my phone. I looked at the picture on the screen and saw Jake and I on it. The picture was from a day we had been studying late and he was about to fall asleep.
I smiled at the picture and then became very nervous. I wasn't going to tell him.
"Hey babe."
"Hey Jake."

"(Y/n)?"
"Jake I'm here."

"See you never call me a cute nickname. Why can't you do that for me? Like call me baby or babe. Ughhh, I'm always calling you cute nicknames." I transferred the call to FaceTime and saw him laying in his bed acting mad.

"Jake, look at me."
"No."

"Cmon Jake, you know you love looking at me." I joked.
"I do, but I want a cute nickname." He started to pout his lips at me. I liked Jake, but I was being so stupid to the point where I went on with making out with someone else. I felt bad and I didn't want him to know. I wanted him there with me. "You going to the party tonight?" He asked.

"What party?"
"The whole group was invited to it, it's the Algebra teacher son's party. She's out of town."

"Ohh, are you?"
"Yea, all the guys are going."
"Okay, I'll go then."

I faced the phone towards the ceiling and I got dressed while he was still talking to me.
After that I got my keys to go pick up Jake.
(a/n) just choose whatever outfit you want.
I honked my horn and saw Jake running out the house.
"Thanks babe." He put his seat belt on and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

In the car we had some small talk and then pulled up to the party. There was already a kid passed out of the porch and several couples making out on the grass.

We walked in and I saw the other boys near the kitchen so I started to walk over to them, "hey guys."

"Hey (y/n), where's Jake?" Elijah asked.
"What do you mean? He's right here—" I turned around and realized that Jake wasn't behind me anymore. "Oh nevermind then."

I don't drink so I got a water from the fridge. As I was talking with the guys, someone came beside me. "Hey (y/n)."

I turned to my right and saw Troy, "oh hey Troy. You enjoying yourself?" The music was blaring so we had to yell a bit.

"Yea, you?

"Ehh it could be better. I don't know where my boyfriend is though." I started to look around for him from where I was at the kitchen.
"Wait you guys are still dating?"

"Yea, we never broke up. Why?"

"I just saw him with a different girl."

"Wait what?" I felt my face go hot and my stomach started to hurt.

I looked back at the crowd of people and it all happened like a movie, the crowd of people separated and I saw Jake and Jaimie making out near the fire place.
I didn't know what to do. I just stood there looking, "(y/n), you good?" Troy asked.

"Yea you look kinda out of it." Jackson said.

I did cheat on Jake first. I understood that, that's why I didn't even separate them, but when I saw his hands start to explore her body I realized what was going on. He was getting what he wanted that I couldn't give him because I wasn't really ready. "I'm good."

"You're not going to stop them?" Troy asked.
I ignored his question and grabbed the bottle of tequila behind us. I started to chug it real fast and when I put the bottle down I felt like throwing up.

"(Y/n) what are you doing? You don't drink." Elijah asked taking the bottle away from me.

"I just wanted a little bit."

The party continued and the boys and I just hung out in the back. Troy had to go early, so I just hung out with Jackson and Elijah.

"I'm kinda tired, you guys wanna go?" Jackson asked.

"I have to give Jake a ride back." I said as I looked over and saw Jake coming our way.
"Hey babe." He put his arm around me and I took it off right away.

"Imma head out."
"Babe what's wrong?" I ignored his question and started to walk out with Elijah and Jackson behind me.
We were already outside in the front when Jake followed us, "why are you leaving? It's barely 12."

"Go hang out with Jaimie." Elijah said hopping inside the car.
I turned the car on and looked at Jake.
His face was pale and he looked embarrassed, "you guys saw that?"

"Everyone did dipshit." Jackson said opening the passenger side door for me because I wasn't supposed to me driving.

"(Y/n), I'm sorry." He came close to me as I was still standing outside the passenger side.

"Jake don't even apologize, I did the same to you with Sebastian. I'm sorry I can't give you that "attention". I hope you enjoy it from her. Let's just be friends right now. I can't do many things that you want me too and I need you to be happy. That's all I want." I climbed back into the car and put my seat belt on. "See ya at school." Afterwards Jackson drove off.

I wasn't sad. I was disappointed in myself for doing what I did. I felt the pain he felt as I saw him with someone else. That's just life.

"Did you just dump him?" Elijah asked.

"We all promised each other we would live our lives together even with our stupidity. We all make mistakes and his mistake was choosing someone who wasn't willing to do certain things to make him happy."

The boys stayed silent and then I just felt Elijah put his hand on my shoulder. A code for "it's gonna be okay."

It was going to be okay because I was the first one to make a horrible mistake. I messed up the relationship.

It's my fault.
But I have to go on with life.

I guess.
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This chapter was complete shit but imma update a good one tmrw :)

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