He's Just My Best Friend | a Kakashi love story

Chapter 44

"I still apologize for Sasuke. There's so much that I did wrong with him. You and Mom would have done much better than I did." I said softly. I may be angry with him, but in the end, I felt responsible.

"Itachi is to blame for Sasuke." My father said flatly. I could tell he was upset with how Sasuke has chosen to act. "He made Sasuke hate him, and drove him to this fate. It's not your fault." My father put an arm around me, trying to make me feel better. I went wide eyed again at the contact. Death has made him soft. I like it.

"I should have told him everything instead of hiding it. He still doesn't know about the coup." I said sadly.

"Maybe. But you can't live your life questioning how you raised him. There are many things I would do differently with all of you, and although that's true, I can't dwell. It does no good." I raised my eyebrow at him. "I wish I never made you go through that emotional training, for one." He started.

"It's actually been very useful." I commented, making him chuckle. I smiled at the sound. I missed my father even more than I realized.

"I'm sure it has been. But you were too young." He shook his head. "I wish I hadn't put so much pressure on you and Itachi. You never got to be kids." He looked sad at the thought.

"We were both prodigies, and we were at war. There was no time to be kids." I justified. He nodded.

"What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't feel guilty for Sasuke. Every parental figure has things they wish they did differently. In the end, you can't make your kid's choices for them." I nodded. This was very true. As much as I wanted to, I could not make Sasuke change his mind. He had to do it. We sat in silence for a long time, just listening to the sound of nature, and enjoying the cool breeze. I wanted to stay here forever, but I also wanted to see the others. I was especially looking forward to seeing Mom, Minato, and of course Kakashi.

"So, are other people who have died here as well?" I asked. I vaguely remember Kakashi dying before I did. Plus, I wouldn't mind seeing Obito, Rin, Minato and my family. I missed all of them. It had been much too long since I had seen them.

"Missing Kakashi?" He asked back in a slightly teasing tone. I blushed heavily and nodded.

"Not just him. I miss Mom and Minato-sensei, and everyone else too. I'd like to see them." I smiled. He didn't say anything. I assumed that meant that it was just him for now, which I didn't mind. Being with Father again and not arguing reminded me of the best memories we had. The ones where he was trying to be a father and not a clan leader. I loved this version of my father. "I know you guys didn't approve of Kakashi." I started. I felt like they needed to know that I was truly happy with him. Maybe it would make up for me not ending up with an Uchiha. "But I really do love him." I looked at my Father with hopeful eyes. I wanted his approval. I wanted him to say that he would accept Kakashi.

"Sweetie, you've loved that boy since you were five." He laughed. I blushed even more than before.

"That's not true." I mumbled, making him chuckle more.

"It is. It's why you fought so hard to not marry Shisui. Your mom and I knew that." I rolled my eyes. Sure, I had loved Kakashi for a long time, but not that long. "If you had to end up with someone who wasn't an Uchiha, I'm glad it was him." My eyes were wide again. My father is apparently full of surprises. He was never this open when he was alive. "Does he treat you well?" He asked pointedly, like he would kill Kakashi if he didn't. The thought made me laugh. We were already dead. The irony. I smiled and nodded.

"He does. He always has. He knows what I need before I do, he helped me raise Sasuke even though we weren't dating, and I was honestly horrible because of the grief." I laughed, remembering some of the things I did. I was grumpy, irritable, and honestly unpleasant most of the time after I took Sasuke in. "He's my other half." I shrugged. Father smiled at me and kissed my forehead like he used to when I was a small child and had a scraped knee, or before he left for a mission. It was comforting.

"Then, I'm glad you have him." I smiled at him. I was always worried about what he would think of Kakashi. Father had never liked him, but I needed him. I'm glad he accepted the fact that I love Kakashi.

"I have a weird question." I started with a smirk on my face. It was something I had always wondered. Father raised an eyebrow at me, urging me to continue. "When I'm at your graves talking to you, do you hear me?" I wondered. It was something I was always curious about. He laughed and nodded.

"We do. It's good though. It gives us a chance to check up on you." I smiled. The thought made me happy. I was really talking to them! Even if they couldn't respond, at least I could talk to them.

"I missed you so much, Father." I smiled up at him before leaning my head on his shoulder. I could tell he was smiling too. I hadn't done this since I was a child.

"I missed you too, Mika." We sat in silence for awhile longer. I was just enjoying being in his company. I didn't need to talk. We had eternity to talk. Right now, I just wanted to look at the beauty of this meadow, and lean on my father. "I'm sorry for so many things, Mika." I sat up and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You were the child I failed the most."

"That not true. I-"

"It is." He cut me off. "I knew it when Minato died and I made you so afraid to cry that you couldn't come home." I nodded. The night I stayed at Kakashi's and Father got mad at me. "When Itachi told me that you weren't home because of me, I knew I failed. Not as a clan leader. You were ready to lead the clan. But as a father." I was shocked. "Honestly, I was more upset that you weren't staying at an Uchiha's house than I was that you were with a boy. And neither of those responses were correct."

"We didn't-"

"I know. But as a father, I should have been worried that you didn't come home after a trauma. And I wasn't. I put too much pressure on you." He shook his head slightly and narrowed his eyes. I felt bad. Sure, I felt the same way, but I turned out better than either of my brothers. I decided to lighten the mood a little, not knowing exactly how to respond.

"You do know that I'm the only one of your children to not be a rogue ninja, right? I think I turned out fine." I teased. He rolled his eyes. That must be where I get it from.

"Yes. I'm well aware of that." He said with a slight laugh. "But you were also afraid to have emotions at home, and so afraid of failure that you're still afraid of it. It's what you talk about most when you come to the graves." He sighed. I felt a little guilty for that one. I mean, sure I'm afraid to fail, but it wasn't entirely his fault. "I expected you to be perfect, and you're not. You're human." I was on the verge of tears again.

"It's okay. I managed." I got out in a small voice.

"You did more than manage. I'm proud of you, Mika." He finished and pulled me into a side hug. I returned it with no hesitation, and cried. I don't think he's ever told me he's proud of me. I was filled with so much warmth and love, it was hard to explain. I noticed a green glow coming from my body and I leaned back in shock. My father smirked. "I guess it's not your time after all."

"But, I want to stay!" I yelled. I wanted to see everyone else!

"We'll still be here when you get back, sweetie. Go. Live your life." I smiled at his words. "I love you, Mika."

"I love you too, Father." I said with a grin, and I felt myself go back to my body where everything was black.