First Love | ✔ |

3 • Relationship

I didn't know if I was in love with Jonathan because I didn't understand the concept of falling in love with someone. I believed loving someone is having unconditional feelings for the person, always being beside the person through tough times. That was all I could say about love.

We kissed twice on the first date which was the rock climbing date. After the second kiss, I told him I loved him not knowing if I meant it or not. He asked me to be his girlfriend, because of the way I felt about him, I didn't think twice before I said yes. That was the day I broke down all of my walls. I felt okay to let another person see my nakedness without being ashamed of it. I told him everything about me. If only I knew it would have ended the way it did I wouldn't have done that.

I went to my mom to ask about her concept of love, she told me it is when you have a special feeling towards the person, you are ready to do anything for the person, you think about the person every single time, you are willing to bear the cross, the person makes you smile, whenever you are around the person all your worries go away.

I thought about everything she told me, I could say that was the way I felt about Jonathan. I did love him. I always wanted to be with him, I was willing to go through any emotional stress for him. I gave my body willingly to him. I made him take control over every one of my possessions. My walls were broken to the extreme.

Jonathan and I dated for a year before the split. The one year I spent with Jonathan was like heaven for me. I had so much fun time with him. Not a single day had I ever thought he would do what he did to me.

We went for 10 dates during our relationship. Jonathan changed his school because of me, he started schooling with me. We were crowned king and queen for prom. Our relationship was the talk of the town. In so long I felt happy after my father's passing. My joy knew no bound. I loved Jonathan more than the way my brain could express.
Every of his touch ignited different feelings. I was falling deeply for the guy. He would always tell me "Chyna you are my world. Once we are old enough to get married, I would surely make you my wife". All of those were just pretends. He was a wolf in sheep clothing. He was so fake.

I became a jealous girlfriend when girls started hanging out with him more often than normal. My nickname for him was a lover boy because he stole my heart.

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