Chasing in the Wild (University Series #3)

35

"Pasensya na, Elyse. Masyado akong sakim noon." 

I played with the sand using the small stick I was holding. I refused to look at him. Memories of my mom came back to me. I tried to stop the tears from falling. 

"I had to go to a therapist," I whispered. 

Natigilan siya sa sinabi ko. Nakita kong mabilis siyang napatingin sa 'kin. His lips parted, not knowing what to say. I gave him a small smile before looking away, sighing heavily to calm myself down. 

"The impact of... everything that happened... It was too much for me to handle," I confessed. "I grew up without experiencing any hardship, you know that. My dad treated me like a princess. Well, he used to. My mom was always there for me. My brother had a problem with my dad, but he was still so nice to me. I didn't know how to cope, Sev." 

"I... I'm sorry." He still didn't know what to say.

It was fine. I wasn't expecting him to say anything. Sapat na sa 'king napapakinggan niya 'ko. I wanted him to hear my side. I left not because I got tired of him. I left... so I could find another reason to live. 

"I loved my dad so much." I covered my face with shaking hands when my tears started falling. "And it turned out that he wasn't who I thought I knew..." 

"Alam kong mahal mo siya, Elyse." Tumango siya. 

"I loved him, and all of a sudden, it was gone." I bit my lower lip. "It was so hard to turn your back on the person you loved for years. I had trust issues, the reason why I... I couldn't make friends anymore. I had Ida, though. I was glad I still had Ida." 

"I'm-" 

"No, don't say sorry, please. Stop blaming yourself for things that are totally out of your control. The only person I can blame right now is my father." I looked at the sea to calm myself down. "I can't even look at him anymore." 

"Balita ko nasa hospital siya." Tumikhim siya. "Hindi mo siya pinupuntahan? Paano kapag nawala na siya-"

"Then that's better," I hissed. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa stick. 

He looked like he wanted to lecture me or something. "Elyse-" 

"Don't, Sebastian," I cut him off. "Do not go there. I don't want to deal with that matter right now." 

He still wanted to say something but stopped. 

"You should hate him, you know?" I scoffed. "He ruined everything. Good thing your... y-your mom got her justice... right?" 

I couldn't even say the name of his mom. Guilt slowly spread inside me. How could I present myself again in front of Sevi's mom? Would she accept me? I was scared. Sana nabawasan ang galit niya sa pamilya ko noong tinulungan sila ni Kuya sa kaso.